Returning to school as a neurodivergent adult brings unique challenges, and we are discussing all aspects of this topic in today’s episode. I’m joined by “The Neuro-Spicy Student,” Amber, to share her experience and perspective on this topic. Join us! Show Highlights: Amber’s “alphabet soup” of diagnoses, misdiagnoses, and disabilities Amber’s childhood experience in school Two sides of the coin for most neurodivergent students Amber’s story of multiple attempts at college and (finally) earning multiple degrees Internal barriers in returning to school as an adult A common experience for adults with ADHD: Learning and learning and learning—without formal degrees to show for it Differences in going to school as an older student with accommodations Finding empowerment in advocating for yourself–and healing your younger self Specific accommodations you can ask for in college Amber’s parting words for listeners considering a return to school Resources and Links: Connect with Amber: LinkedIn Explore more from The Neuro-Spicy Student: Linktree Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How are your fighting skills? Most couples could use a LOT of work in this area, and I have just the person to help us! I’m thrilled to be joined by a great friend, Lindley Gentile, for today’s episode. She’s a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who recently wrote an ebook titled, How to Have the Best Fight of Your Life. Listen to our conversation about this thought-provoking topic and learn why looking for right and wrong is the WORST way to handle conflict.  Show Highlights: Lindley’s motivation to write this book? Because many (most!) couples seek therapy around communication issues Fighting well leads to being seen well. The need to uplevel your fighting skill set beyond being “right or wrong” Ways in which we are fighting wrong Making the shift from arguing about who’s right to witnessing one another The fable of the elephant can teach us about being open to another’s experience. The value of “I” statements over “You” statements Withdrawing physically and emotionally during conflict vs. the skill of asking for a pause Fight, flight, or freeze The WWC framework: witness, witness, and collaborate Resources and Links: Connect with Lindley Gentile and Austin Couples Concierge: Website, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode will be helpful for all parents—and for anyone who has ever been a child. We are discussing OCD, specifically in children, with Natasha Daniels. She has been an anxiety and OCD child therapist for over two decades. As the mother of three kids with anxiety and OCD, her passion and perspective is both professional and personal. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: OCD differs from general anxiety and requires very specific therapies. Signs of OCD, a diverse, idiosyncratic disorder that shows up differently for each person In children, a common sign of OCD is the tendency to ask theme-based, repetitive questions. Is it anxiety or OCD?  Autism and OCD: Comfort/coping skills or compulsion? When does my child need professional help? How do I know? OCD or nervous tics? A discussion of mental health issues in families, social anxiety, neuroplasticity, and addiction Finding “the sweet spot” as a parent (so as not to coddle but not fuel anxiety) The best approach: parents can refuse to participate in the “overblownness” and drama while not being dismissive The wisdom in coaching our kids Resources and Links: Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (find resources, courses, podcast episodes, and more) OCD Resources: International OCD Foundation and Treat My OCD Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s topic of adoption is a sensitive subject for many people. We are covering adoption from a different perspective as we talk to Stacy, an adult adoptee who belongs to a community of adult adoptees who are vehemently opposed to private infant adoption. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Meet Stacy and learn her story An overview of differing views of adoption through the years (Are new laws needed?) Examples of laws that are drawing negative feedback from adult adoptees The expense of private infant adoption and the ethical dilemma of a more systemic problem The ratio of parents looking to adopt and available infants A closer look at adoption theology and open adoption The US system that contributes to the number of desperate pregnant women and creates the perfect storm for exploitation, pressure, and propaganda What adopted kids need to know The adoption industry needs a different approach. The nuances of adoption out of foster care For many people, adoption into a “nice” family was/is a fantasy.  Stacy’s viewpoint on what to say–and what NOT to say–to adult adoptees Stacy’s message to adult adoptees Resources and Links: Connect with Stacy: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a follow-up to Episode 65, The Dark Underside of Family Vlogging, Part 1, which aired almost a year ago. My guest from that episode, Cam, returns to discuss her reaction to a recent big development in the world of family vlogging. Cam grew up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers,” and is an international advocate for the children of influencers and family vloggers. She shares her perspective on the new California law. Join us! Show Highlights: Understanding the basics of the Child Content Creator Act in California to protect kids’ rights (similar laws are being passed in Illinois and Minnesota) Legal ramifications for parents who don’t follow “the 30% rule” Children on reality TV shows do NOT fall under the new law. Understanding the Coogan Law Cam’s perspective on the protections of the law for children—and what she wishes the law included “The right to forget”: what it means and why it’s not included in the law Cam’s thoughts about a recent scary cancer diagnosis in light of her past history with vulnerability at the hands of her mom’s vlog Growing up with NO boundaries or privacy Laws in CA, IL, and MN to protect kids from being exploited Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode covers the topics of bullying, meanness, and conflict. My guest is uniquely qualified to share her wisdom and expertise, which she did in a TEDx talk. Bullying or meanness: what’s the difference, and how do we recognize the two? Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● Dr. Eileen’s background as a clinical psychologist and author ● The specific criteria in the definition of bullying ● Empowering our kids to withstand meanness without taking a victim stance: “Conflict is inevitable.” ● Bullying has become “a thought-stopping cliche.” ● Meanness and bullying in the online world ● Vulnerability in being a content creator and dealing with feedback ● A better approach with kids: “Whose opinion matters to you?” ● The truth about self-esteem and a “quiet ego” ● Connecting with something greater than ourselves ● Helping kids learn self-compassion rather than self-esteem (Dr. Eileen teaches a “reflect, but downshift” technique in her book, Kid Confidence.) ● Dr. Eileen’s formula for teaching reflection to kids ● “Whose feelings are most important?” ● Validating and normalizing kids’ feelings (by following their lead) by offering empathy and confidence ● Being your kids “biased biographer” ● Learning to “stay in the water” instead of standing on the edge of the pool ● “Testing the water” to pull back on accommodations Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore: Website (Find books for parents and kids!) and Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have an honest confession to make. I am a terrible budgeter, but I’m a world-class financial goldfish. In this episode, I’ll explain my “financial goldfish” status and budgeting for our neurodiverse brains. I’m joined by Jill Sirianni, host of the Frugal Friends Podcast. If you’re like me, and budgeting just doesn’t work for you, you’ll learn a lot from our conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: Characteristics of a financial goldfish Budgets–the diet of the financial landscape (and they don’t work any more than diets do for most people) Top reasons we fall victim to impulse buying The myth of “Wants vs. Needs” The downfalls of typical antiquated budgeting Creativity in meeting needs without spending Jill’s 90-day transaction inventory Helpful online tools A moral problem vs. a systemic problem KC’s helpful hack to be more thoughtful before spending impulsively (like late-night DoorDash) Jill’s tips for creating a pause before spending: keep a list and buy second-hand Understanding the marketing behind sales Making choices about your behavior today that may not align with spending habits held up as the “standard” Understanding values-based spending In finances, one size does NOT fit all.  Resources and Links: Connect with Jill Sirianni and Frugal Friends: Frugal Friends Podcast and Buy What You Love Without Going Broke book by Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni (pre-order now!) Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is about liberation, revolution, and social justice. We are tackling these topics from a practical perspective with my guest, Nat. Join us! Nat Vikitsreth is a licensed clinical social worker who works with families who want to practice social justice in their daily lives but are torn between acting in their communities and at home. She helps them bridge the gap despite being tired, overwhelmed, and stretched too thin. Holding space for their beautiful intentions and walking with them on this journey are Nat’s passions.   Show Highlights: Nat’s background as a transgender woman from Thailand who has become a clinician and a social justice organizer Trying to honor our values about liberation at home and in the community Being your own ally first with agility and awareness of your available bandwidth Learning to hold space for accountability The root causes of our suffering: white supremacy, colonialism, capitalism, and patriarchy Leading with compassion in action instead of punishment What it means to be truly humble Nat’s advice for parents Finding the sweet spot between discomfort and boundaries Being realistic in your family about what causes you can support and take action on with your limited capacity Nat’s words of advice about actions beyond the “sexy actions” to take Resources and Links: Connect with Nat Vikitsreth: Website and Come Back to Care Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when a loved one won’t seek the mental health treatment that they obviously need? We are looking at the very important topic of mental health from the perspective of your concern for a loved one who might be resistant to asking for help, and what you can do about it. I’m joined by Dr. Alec Pollard, a co-author of When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment: How to Promote Recovery and Reclaim Your Family’s Well-Being. With a long career as a clinical psychologist, he is the founding director of the St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Dr. Pollard’s background and four decades of experience as a psychologist  Turning his focus to help those who are concerned about their loved one’s mental health Dr. Pollard explains The Family Well-Being Approach/Consultation Two types of accommodations that loved ones make: commission and omission Differentiation between appropriate and inappropriate accommodations for a loved one Recovery avoidance: a pattern of behavior that is inconsistent with the process of recovery Creating opportunities for a loved one to get better through support, incentives, and positive rewards Dr. Pollard’s book and its approach of finding a balance between long-term planning and crisis management Dr. Pollard’s takeaway about his book as his proudest achievement in his career Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Alec Pollard: St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute and When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you joined us for last week’s episode, you know that we promised Part 2 of my conversation with Franchesca Ramsey. She brings an expert perspective on the various aspects of content creation, like authenticity, compassion, handling negative comments, the value of listening, and more. Franchesca Ramsey is an actor, writer, public speaker, and longtime content creator. She wrote and performed in the web series MTV Decoded, where she tackled race, pop culture, and other uncomfortable topics. Other notable accomplishments include writing for The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and a nomination for an NAACP award for one of the best books of 2018: Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist. Franchesca shares her expertise and insights about guarding your mental health as a content creator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: The skills we lack in being human, trusting each other, and genuinely calling someone IN The public vs. private sphere of an online presence Listening, forgiving, and doing the right thing Hard-earned perspectives on hot takes and being silent What’s your WHY for content creation? Handling critical and negative comments on social media Being authentic in content creation means sometimes logging off. KC’s thoughts on her WHY as a content creator Resources and Links: Connect with Franchesca Ramsey: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a conversation I’ve been wanting to have for awhile, and I’ve found the perfect person for this topic. Franchesca Ramsey is an actor, writer, public speaker, and longtime content creator. She wrote and performed in the web series MTV Decoded, where she tackled race, pop culture, and other uncomfortable topics. Other notable accomplishments include writing for The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and a nomination for an NAACP award for one of the best books of 2018: Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist. Franchesca shares her expertise and insights on longevity and mental health as a content creator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Burnout is real in the content creation world. Lessons learned about life and authenticity as a content creator, influencer, and vlogger Are you putting your time and energy in the wrong place? You have to censor yourself EVERY day! Impulsive reactions on social media can have severe consequences. Give yourself space to step back. Prioritizing joy in your content and not reacting with anger The nature of social media Strengthening internal boundaries by getting comfortable with being misunderstood Thoughts on cancel culture and negative backlash Our conversation is so good that we don’t want it to end. We will continue with Part 2 with Franchesca in next week’s episode! Resources and Links: Connect with Franchesca Ramsey: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us for today’s interesting conversation about ethics, boundaries, suffering, bullying, and being online/offline. There are many facets to these topics as they intertwine with morality, and we are diving into a discussion with Ellie Rushton,  Show Highlights: Ellie’s background, work, and TikTok content about “cultivating bold spaces” Ellie’s definition of bullying: “doing something harmful several times on purpose for the sake of someone’s suffering” Thoughts on bullying and why people do it Holding someone accountable vs. bullying—what’s the difference? Ellie’s perspective on online comments to others’ content Thoughts on the roots of inequality, oppression, and suffering—and the problem with categorizing “good” and “bad” people People are afraid of embodying compassion. What is effective in online spaces Thoughts about boundaries, revenge, and retribution Standing up for what you believe while holding yourself accountable Resources and Links: Connect with Ellie: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources: Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!) Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m excited to have Danita Platt on the show today. I didn’t know anyone of color in the field of care tasks until I met her. Her content resonates with me and my views around care tasks, so I hope you’ll enjoy hearing more from Danita! Show Highlights: Who Danita is and how she became an expert on gentle care tasks How our society over the last two generations has moralized care tasks and tied them to the worth of a woman Why we need to rethink our views about care tasks and “being a good woman” that go back to the founding of the US, historically speaking How the concept of “invisible labor” has carried over from colonial days even to today How many white people were able to live the lives they did because of the cheap, exploitable labor of Black women How the Great Migration happened to move many Black families to northern cities from the South How the shift happened to push Black (and white) women to work industrial jobs while men were away during the war How the push is recurring for 1950s homemaking to be viewed as the superior role for women What we DON’T talk about in the fulfilling life of a homemaker How Danita chooses to honor the Black women who had to wash clothes, clean house, and cook meals under duress–with no freedom or choice of their own What Danita would say to women who want to live more joyfully in their homes and experience more freedom and quality of life Resources: Connect with Danita: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Sisters in Hate: American Women on the Front Lines of White Nationalism Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!  Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ●      What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness ●      How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism ●      Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive” ●      How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD ●      Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m excited about today’s guest because she has had a huge influence on me. I can confidently say that finding her research on self-compassion was a turning point in my healing journey. Do you need more self-compassion? Join us to learn more! Dr. Kristin Neff is a renowned psychologist, self-care researcher, and author. Her work has had a profound impact on the field of psychology and has helped countless people cultivate self-acceptance and resilience.  Show Highlights: How self-compassion became Dr. Kristin’s main area of research Understanding self-esteem vs. self-compassion The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness How self-esteem creates comparison and social disconnection by being conditional and unstable How self-compassion gives the gift of authenticity The difference between fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion How self-compassion helps us get past our shame Why self-compassion doesn’t mean indulgence Pathways and blocks to self-compassion The connection between self-compassion and psychological functioning How self-compassion helps when we fail and make mistakes Why the goal of practicing self-compassion is to be simply a compassionate mess who is completely human Why the practice of self-compassion has to start small with baby steps of warmth and support (What would you say to a friend?) A look at Dr. Kristin’s latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion How anger fits into self-compassion Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Kristin and find many helpful resources: Website Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our deep dive into ABA and autism continues in this episode. Today’s guest recently finished her Ph.D. in Education, focusing on disability studies and related research in the world of DEI. Dr. Robin Roscigno helps educate parents about neurodiversity to create a more inclusive world for neurodiverse individuals. She posts frequently on social media platforms about autism and autism therapies. Her studies and life experiences give her both a professional and personal relationship to this topic because of her brother’s childhood diagnosis of autism. Robin was also diagnosed with autism along with her young daughter and began navigating the therapy world as a parent who struggled to find therapies that are affirming. After leaving teaching to pursue her Ph.D., she now focuses on autism intervention and challenging the dominant paradigms.  Show Highlights: Understanding what ABA therapy is and why there is such controversy around this topic The dilemma for parents in the “explosive landscape” of ABA Understanding behaviorism as a therapeutic approach The old-school ABA therapy and its focus on eye contact How current autism therapies are designed to make people appear “less autistic” and “fit in more” in the world The need for wisdom and a harm-reduction approach in therapies Choosing a school program for your child based on goals and techniques and not a binary (ABA:good or ABA: bad) approach The foundation of neurotypical norms (like eye contact) in connection, relationships, and social referencing—-which we ALL need Teaching social referencing in affirming ways that help develop skills Looking for red/green flags in assessing specific goals and techniques from an advocacy perspective Unrealistic expectations of autistic kids and their parents   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Robin Roscigno: Website, TikTok, LinkedIn, Instagram, and TEDx Talk: “Your Autistic Child Can Have a Great Life. Here’s How” Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For several recent episodes, I’ve been interviewing people with autism about their perspectives and experiences. We are discussing the DSM criteria, stereotypes about autism, and how autism affects the lives of both children and adults. An autism diagnosis can have many different nuances, and there is so much more to autism than the DSM criteria. Today’s guest, Kerry Magro, shares his experience in this episode. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Kerry’s growing up years with mostly communication and sensory-based challenges, love and support from his family, and his success as a professional certified speaker Kerry’s various college and graduate degrees Stereotypes about autism Understanding autism as a true spectrum with a wide range of complexities and strengths Kerry’s challenges with eye contact and other social norms Understanding “autism burnout,” masking, representation, and “honoring” the disability Kerry’s perspective on autism and relationships “Repetitive and restricted behaviors” in adulthood Kerry’s experience as an adult, dealing with sensory sensitivities and learning to speak up for accommodations Kerry’s experience with autism and physical touch Advice for parents Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you heard our episode from a couple of weeks ago, you know we discussed Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Today, we are looking at the controversy surrounding ABA, why many people are in favor of it, and why many people oppose it. My guest, Taylor, is a BCBA, a board-certified behavior analyst, so let’s discuss this topic and learn more from her. Show Highlights: An explanation of ABA and the role of a BCBA The language of ABA: desired behaviors, undesired behaviors, behavior contrast, punishment, replacement behaviors, injurious behaviors, tantrum behaviors, etc. Taylor’s story about going to an ABA conference The historical harm that ABA has done to autistic children The dehumanizing aspects of ABA Is the goal of ABA to make an autistic child seem less autistic? Therapies covered by health insurance for an autistic child: speech, occupational, and ABA The side of ABa that no one talks about ABA: helpful, traumatizing, or distressing? Taylor’s path to becoming a BCBA An autism diagnosis does NOT mean that you need ABA. A look at a typical ABA session (even though each session is highly individualized to the needs of each person) Taylor’s top three things that can be done to better serve autistic people Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we continue with our series on autism, I’m joined by Kathleen Walker for today’s bonus episode. We discuss the basic criteria for autism, her experience as a child with an early diagnosis, what it’s like for an autistic person to “play by the rules” of business etiquette in the workplace, and her advice for parents of autistic children. Join us to learn more from Kathleen! Show Highlights: The first criteria for autism: “persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction” Kathleen’s perspective on her social communication and interactions as an early-diagnosed child Examples of how an autistic person might “miss things” in interaction and communication Challenges for the autistic person in a professional career vs. in personal relationships Masking and modified behaviors to be accepted Kathleen’s suggestion for rewriting the DSM criteria based on communication/interaction Helping autistic kids feel comfortable and navigate the world in their own ways Kathleen’s experience with social difficulties around conversations, nonverbal cues, and anxiety For an autistic person, connection in relationships might not be a top priority in life. Kathleen’s experience with “repetitive and restrictive interests, rituals, and schedules Kathleen’s advice for parents of autistic children Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Psychologist Lesley PsyD discusses Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, particularly in the context of autism, during Autism Awareness Month. This conversation aims to provide a neutral and factual overview of ABA, exploring its principles, applications, and the diverse perspectives surrounding it. Lesley explains ABA's focus on understanding and modifying behavior through reinforcement and environmental adjustments. They address the benefits and risks of ABA, emphasizing the importance of individualized approaches and naturalistic learning. Show Highlights: Overview of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy and its relevance to autism. Clarification of ABA terminology and its practical applications. Discussion of the emotional and controversial nature of ABA therapy. Examination of the challenges parents face in accessing appropriate therapies for children with autism. Importance of understanding behavior in context, including antecedents and consequences. Exploration of the benefits and risks associated with ABA practices. Critique of the focus on compliance and neurotypical standards in ABA. The role of reinforcement in behavior modification and its implications for intrinsic motivation. Discussion of the need for individualized approaches to therapy that respect children's unique experiences. Advocacy for a compassionate and nuanced understanding of autism and behavior analysis. Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, you’ll hear from three guests about their autism experience and their perspectives on common stereotypes about autism around communication, relationships, and more. This is a bonus follow-up to our most recent episode about autism with Kaelynn Partlow. Join us as we explore autism further with Syd, Atlas, and Sapphire. I’m happy to have them here to share their insights.  Show Highlights: Meet Syd, a 22-year-old post-grad student who is self-diagnosed as autistic and ADHD: Thoughts on relationships, unmasking, and “quality over quantity”  Being yourself in a world that isn’t always welcoming to your kind Cultivating a special (and rare!) interest in learning and education Meet Atlas, who was self-diagnosed at age 16: Identifying with autistic characters on a favorite TV show What it’s like to pick up on other people’s perceptions of your weirdness Autistic traits that Atlas recognized from childhood about obsessive routines Meet Sapphire, who was identified as autistic in 5th grade but not diagnosed until age 19: Nuances around communication, conversations, and awkward silences The common misunderstandings about what a relationship with an autistic person can be like Using an “Excel spreadsheet in my brain” to catalog each person Relationships and the need for “alone time” to decompress Sapphire’s advice to parents who are hesitant to have their child tested/diagnosed Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Autism Awareness Month! Yes–I know that was in April, but I have ADHD and am easily distracted. I’ve procrastinated for more than a year on doing some really great episodes about autism because I want to do justice to this topic. I’m starting with an amazing TikTokker, Kaelynn Partlow. I’ve followed her for quite a while, but you might know Kaelynn from Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum. Kaelynn shares about autism from her personal experience and her professional work with autistic kids. She was diagnosed at age 10 with autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and ADHD. Her background provides a unique perspective on advocacy that is worth our attention. Join us! Show Highlights: Specific criteria (from the DSM) for autism—and Kaelynn’s experience with each one Persistent deficits in social communication and interaction Restrictive or repeated behavior Kaelynn’s experience in making and maintaining friendships while growing up and now Masking: What it is and what it feels like The nuances of eye contact: not enough or too much? All autistic behaviors ARE human behaviors. Stimming from an autistic perspective and a non-autistic perspective Kaelynn’s special interests, routines, and self-imposed “rules” Kaelynn’s experience with sensory issues: noises, fabrics, etc.  Kaelynn’s perspective on physical touch (Most autistic people don’t like physical touch.) Kaelynn’s diagnosis at age 10 (after the assumption that she was genius-level intelligent.) Autism is NOT an invisible disability! Kaelynn’s reflection on her childhood and helpful therapies and treatments Kaelynn’s thoughts on common ADA controversies Kaelynn’s advice to those who might fear being “labeled” if they pursue testing for themselves or their child What Kaelynn sees as the biggest misunderstanding about autism today Resources and Links: Connect with Kaelynn Partlow: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook **Look for Kaelynn’s book, Life on the Bridge, to be released this summer! Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are back for Part 2 of a fascinating discussion with Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. We left off in last week’s episode talking about how some people rely too heavily on gaming for their coping skills in life and how “mindful gaming” can go beyond simply pushing buttons and help in many ways. The conflict over video games extends beyond partner relationships and definitely leads to challenges for parents and their kids. Let’s explore this topic with Derrick! Show Highlights: Myths and misconceptions about video games from a parent’s perspective Being mindful means using as many of the five senses as possible and being purposeful. Video games can lead to emotional connection, learning, and many problem-solving skills. Derrick’s perspective on gamers who play a variety of games: good or bad? Thoughts on the benefits of games like Skyrim and Mass Effect The value of a collaborative approach by parents who get involved in a child’s gaming life respectfully and appropriately The benefits of video games for neurodivergent kids, overall mental health, and therapeutic approaches The key for parents of gamers: accepting video games as ways to promote mindfulness, deep conversations, true interest, growth, skill development, curiosity, and maturity Resources and Links: Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Struggle Care, where we talk about all things individual and systemic that affect your life, wellness, and mental health. Joining me is Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. I’ve followed him since 2020, and I love his thoughts and perspectives. Today’s topic, video games and relationships, stirs up some strong reactions and opinions, but you will walk away from this episode with a fresh and thoughtful view of the hobbies we all enjoy in our lives. Let’s get into it! Show Highlights: Video games are misunderstood and not recognized for what they are—the most beautiful, immersive forms of storytelling that exist. Men can get in touch with emotions through playing video games. Video games get unjustly blamed for communication problems in relationships. Video games comprise a safe space of non-judgment where one can feel confident and competent.  Thoughts about men in therapy, gender dynamics, and emotional labor Consideration and honesty in relationships about our hobbies Society’s expectation of productivity leads us to feel shame and guilt about our hobbies. This is so wrong! Understanding how to have honest and authenticity in our relationships—from the start Red flags to look for when video games (or other obsessive hobbies) become our ONLY coping skills in life3 Resources and Links: Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you want to bring sexy back into your life? This concept encompasses much more than actual sex, but it reaches to the inner depths of a woman’s core identity, vitality, and attitudes about life. This episode was prompted by the response to a recent TikTok in which I commented about how I’ve rediscovered things about myself here in my late 30s as my kids are a bit older and I have more time to myself. The response was big, with many questions about what I’ve done. I hate to say that there really is no big secret, but this topic is well worth exploring, so I’m bringing in my good friend, Lindley Gentile, a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is an expert who works specifically with women around rediscovering their sexiness, or perhaps, learning to discover it for the first time.  Show Highlights: Contributing factors to why women lose their individuality and sexiness The roles women fall into throughout life’s phases—without any renegotiation with their partner Sexiness in identity is about MUCH more than having sex. Being “turned on” is about aliveness, vitality, positivity, and a vibration of your soul. Care tasks create a barrier to pleasure. Sex is like a playground for fun and pleasure, and the aging woman can have more fun at the playground. Aging women, what they wear, and feeling sexy Sexiness is about energy and how you feel. False messages from society around fatphobia, suppression, and ideology Fantasy is a gift and a power that can overcome our tendency to overthink. Lindley’s starting point with women who want to rediscover their sexiness Lindley’s recommended reading for every woman: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Resources and Links: Connect with Lindley Gentile: Website, TikTok, and Austin Couples Concierge Counseling Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As usual, we are talking about all things mental health, wellness, and topics that matter to us both individually and systemically. I’m excited to be joined by Parker Bushman, the founder and CEO of Ecoinclusive Strategies and the Inclusive Journeys Guide. Ecoinclusive Strategies is a consulting firm that works with conservation-based organizations, environmental organizations, and nonprofits around diversity, equality, and inclusion. Join us! Show Highlights: Nature should be free and accessible to ALL! The existing disparities in neighborhoods, tree cover, park access, and open spaces Racist roots of the conservation movement Messages of elitism among “outdoorsy” people Things that have been baked into our ideas about who gets to be outside and enjoy it–We need to break down the barriers! Thoughts about able-ism and outdoor spaces Parker’s consulting work with organizations doing wildland restoration, community engagement, and DEI work Building community through engagement, information, collaboration, and empowerment Systemic issues that prevent outdoor access Parker’s advice to everyone about finding outdoor activities that you enjoy Resources and Links: Connect with Parker Bushman and Ecoinclusive Strategies: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are continuing with the topic of trad wives, but we are taking a different angle in this conversation. I’m joined by Professor Neil Shyminsky, who is an English professor at Cambrian College in Sudbury, Ontario. He doesn’t teach a lot about literature but likes to focus on media studies, gender/sexuality studies, and socio-political thought. We begin with a clip of Professor Neil explaining the concept of the “leisure class” as it relates to trad wife content. Join us! Show Highlights: The “other” side of trad wife content: an idealized performance of domesticity and romanticization of a woman’s role Professor Neil defines “the leisure class.” Don’t always believe the story the camera shows! (It’s all carefully curated content!) Social signals in how we “perform” our gender Trad wives as the moral purity status symbol of their husband’s godliness and enjoyers of God’s richest blessings from living a life of submission Thinking critically is key to understanding the truth about the values they promote. The difference between liking traditionally feminine things and being a content creator who makes active choices about how they present their enjoyment of traditionally feminine things The comparison between trad wife content and MLMs Professor Neil’s advice: “Be thoughtful and self-reflective in what you consume.” Resources and Links: Connect with Professor Neil Shyminsky: TikTok, Instagram, X, and LinkedIn Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Buckle up for this one! We are discussing the interesting topic of trad wives, the psychology of anti-feminism, and the pushback/feedback we are seeing on TikTok. If you aren’t sure what any of that means, stay with us, and we will explain. I’m joined by my good friend and frequent guest on the show, clinical psychologist, Dr. Lesley Cook.  Show Highlights: A montage of trad wife audio content The overriding philosophy of trad wife content: the good way vs. the bad way (with no in-between) KC’s definition of a trad wife: “a woman who chooses to stay home, submit to her husband, and embrace traditional gender roles because they believe God says they will be happier” (usually with undertones of homeschooling, homesteading, and political/religious agendas) The correlation between mainstream marketing, multi-level marketing, and trad wife philosophy: they all create the myth around what they are trying to sell The psychology of instability, isolation, loneliness, vulnerability, and a lack of belonging common in the trad wife movement Too much feminism OR not enough feminism?? Our responsibility as a global community of women to the problems of patriarchy Patriarchy, the myth, and the marketing campaign Scenarios in which a trad wife is trapped, isolated, overtaxed, and overwhelmed—but still believes the myth Traps that pop up in many areas with exploitive systems that can all be tied to money How we are consuming trad wife content with a romanticized view of the false narrative Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Please be advised that today’s episode is adult content; it’s not safe for work or little ears. We are talking all things kink with Sunny Megatron, a clinical sexologist, kink educator, and consultant. Join us for an interesting and informative conversation! Show Highlights: Understanding what kink really is—and how it measures up to the assumptions we have The difference between kink and a fetish Sunny explains “kink done well” and “kink done wrong” The concept of “aftercare” in kink Societal messages around sex that lead to shame, embarrassment, and an overall lack of open communication We don’t understand our sexual motivations. Stigma busting around sexual assault, trauma, and fantasy Red flags to look for in sexual power dynamics The slippery slope of fear (of what kink may lead to) Problems in kink relationships are the SAME problems in “vanilla sex” relationships!  Resources and Links: Connect with Sunny Megatron: Website, TikTok, and Instagram  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have felt the pressure to put meals on the table that adhere to the expectations of others, even when you could barely function in life, this episode is for you. I’m joined by Amy G.S.A. Brooks of Wandering Ames. She’s one of my favorite content creators who posts about the OK Kitchen. There is more to life than succumbing to societal pressure to prepare perfect, five-star meals. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      The beginnings of the OK Kitchen and the forming of a new community ●      Food insecurity and diet culture during the pandemic ●      Messages surround us everywhere about how we feed ourselves and fuel our bodies. ●      Thinking about preparing food for three meals every day seems like never-ending labor! ●      Meal plans can be a helpful tool–but should be set aside when needed. ●      Wasteful in food or wasteful in being unkind to ourselves? Which is worse? ●      Be willing to break the rules: dinner doesn’t have to be a big meal or a fancy production, and food plans should be simple and flexible. ●      The point of meals is to get what our bodies need.   Resources and Links: Connect with Amy G.S.A. Brooks: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m joined today by Monica Packer, host of the About Progress podcast, as we talk about habits. Specifically, our discussion focuses on why the habit-forming advice out there written by men does not work for women. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Monica’s background as a blogger and podcaster who had to “learn how to fail” ●      Understanding that perfectionism is a spectrum that affects our ability to form “good habits” ●      Monica’s lightbulb moment: “Maybe our methods are broken.” ●      The biggest difference between men’s and women’s habits: invisible labor ●      How invisible labor is defined–and what the statistics show ●      Examples of the mental load that women carry ●      Popular culture advice (about forming habits) that DOES NOT work ●      Monica’s tips for forming habits: redefine consistency, shift your view of habits, and start with the smallest and simplest form of the ideal ●      Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is real for many women! ●      The goal of habits is to support you—so do it YOUR way! ●      Understanding trade-offs and how they work for most women Resources and Links: Connect with Monica Packer: Website, About Progress Podcast, Instagram, and The Sticky Habit Intensive Course Books mentioned by Monica: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is all about mental health, therapy, and being online as a therapist. We are diving in with my guest, DeeDee Wednesday, who has created a space for intentional healing and empowerment through therapy and leadership coaching. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights:   ●      An overview of DeeDee’s work as a therapist in Louisiana ●      Traditional therapy is NOT today’s therapy. ●      An open mind, a balancing act, and showing up as an authentic therapist ●      Navigating the tricky world of TikTok (or any social media platform) as a therapist ●      DeeDee’s work to show up as a therapist when entitlement, racism, and white supremacy are at play ●      Understanding how moral perfectionism causes some people to act ●      Having a line that you won’t cross to “do no harm” ●      What it means to be self-aware ●      Dealing with difficult people ●      “Power is really the ability to choose.”   Resources and Links: Connect with DeeDee Wednesday: Website, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every mother needs to hear this conversation. It just doesn’t make sense that we put so much undue pressure on ourselves and are quick to criticize and judge other moms for their parenting styles. I’m joined today by Erica Djossa, the author of Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More. We are talking about all things motherhood and expectations, why I’ve been blasted over a couple of recent TikToks, and Erica’s parenting wisdom from her book. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      One of KC’s videos about how she “doesn’t play” with her kids—and the flurry of negative responses over parenting choices ●      The intensive mothering ideation: motherhood equals martyrdom, mothers must put everyone else’s needs about their own, shelve all their interests, and be self-sacrificial in every way ●      The second of KC’s videos about sending her dog away from home for training—and the flurry of anger and shame over her inadequacies as a dog owner ●      Mainstay pillars of the intensive mothering ideology and the BS that is promoted as healthy attachment and “good mothering” ●      Giving less can sometimes mean giving more. ●      The truth that shows up in the bedtime routine (“Are you holding space for yourself, mom?”) ●      The scope, dynamic, and importance of “independent play,” creativity, and solving problems ●      Healthy attachment: safety, security, reliability, and dependability ●      The space for moms to have unique and different personalities and mothering styles, like bedroom parents vs. living room parents ●      Projecting our mother wounds on other moms (Why do we do it?) ●      Understanding why not all NOs are equal ●      The disparity in expectations and judgment for moms and dads ●      Motherhood expectations, boundaries, and the stories we tell ourselves Resources and Links: Connect with Erica Djossa: Website, Instagram, Momwell Podcast, and Releasing the Mother Load book                        Mentioned by Erica: Needy by Mara Glatzel   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I recently came across the content of Dr. Andrew Bauman, a licensed mental health counselor whose mission is to provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview. His writings display eye-opening perspectives on religion and relationships that we aren’t used to hearing from a male Christian leader. I’m joined by Dr. Andrew to discuss how the church gaslights women and much more. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      Dr. Andrew’s path from Southern Baptist Church pastor to therapist as he deconstructed his faith and faced stark realizations ●      The big, red-flag problems in what some churches teach and practice about women, leadership, sexism, and abuse ●      The facts about sexism and abuse experienced by women in the church ●      “How we are in our sexuality is how we are in our spirituality.” ●      Many churches demonstrate benevolent or ambivalent sexism. ●      Thoughts and feelings about I Timothy 2:11-12 being weaponized against women ●      Dr. Andrew’s thoughts on how the church weaponizes forgiveness ●      The correlation between pornography and violence against women ●      The biblical account of Jesus and the woman at the well—and how He broke decades of prejudices and sexism in His own culture ●      Other examples in scripture of how Jesus valued women—and how the church “gets it wrong” so often ●      Understanding sexuality and consent   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Andrew Bauman: Website/Blog/Resources, The Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma Recommended Reading: books by Natalie Hoffman, Sarah McDugal, and Sheila Gregoire  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joining me today is Sarah (pronounced SAH-rah) Casper, Consent Educator and the founder of Comprehensive Consent. We connected over a recent TikTok about sexual coercion, sexual assault, and consent, which, as you can imagine, prompted very strong reactions. There is a new social space around the whole idea of consent, even to the point that new terminology is being created, as with the term “enthusiastic consent.” With the overall goal of education and empowerment, Sarah and I tackle this very nuanced topic in today’s show. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Consent is full of black, white, and LOTS of gray areas. ●      The truth: “Consent is not simple, and the same rules don’t apply across all contexts.” ●      Understanding the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire and the opt-in model vs. the opt-out model ●      Common questions Sarah is asked about people’s experiences ●      Everyone deserves care, all feelings are valid, and your feelings don’t have to be labeled. ●      Not all assault is sexual coercion, and not all sexual coercion is assault. ●      Sexual ethics is much more than consent. ●      Watch out for red flags in a partner wanting to “check all the boxes” for consent. Resources and Links: Connect with Sarah Casper and Comprehensive Consent: Website, Instagram, and TikTok   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friendships can be very complicated and fragile while at the same time solid and fulfilling. Even though our “besties” may come and go across our lifetime, they can each bring something valuable and unique to the friendship table. In this episode, we are taking a closer look at relationships, specifically friendships in all their complex and nuanced forms. My guest is content creator and podcaster, Hello Hayes. She answers questions from her community each week about navigating turbulence in our relationships with each other, work, and ourselves. Our conversation takes a closer look at her intriguing theory of the six different kinds of best friends. Join us!   Show Highlights:   ●      Hayes’s background as a writer, an empathetic person, an “old soul,” and a good listener ●      The natural shifts in friendships as life changes and phases unfold ●      Hayes’s six besties theory: (based on the premise that we have different friends in life for different purposes) ○      The Good Time Bestie ○      The Dead Body Bestie ○      The Work Bestie ○      The North Star Bestie ○      The OG Bestie ○      The Seasonal Bestie ●      The mental health piece of friendship ●      Practice your self-awareness muscle: Be confident in trusting your gut! ●      The basis for Hayes’s advice to people about their relationships ●      Knowing when it’s time to face a painful heartbreak and move on ●      Having tough conversations with the right words without being accusatory   Resources and Links: Connect with Hello Hayes: Hello Hayes podcast, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and email (to submit a question) hellohayesadvice@gmail.com  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is powerful. I’m honored to have two of the three authors of the book, Beyond Fragility with me today. Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton and Dr. Yara Mekawi, along with Danielle Dawson, have written truly the best anti-racism resource I’ve ever encountered. As a white person and a clinician, it is powerful to hear this perspective of what we need to do psychologically to get to a place of anti-racism. Drs. Natalie and Yara are researchers, educators, writers, and the co-founders of DEAR, the Dialectical Engagement and Anti-Racism Project. Join us to learn more about this timely and important topic!   Show Highlights: ●      The origins of DEAR and Beyond Fragility as an outgrowth of Yara’s Medium article, How to not be a “Karen”: Managing the tensions of anti-racism allyship ●      The differences between DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and traditional talk therapy ●      Systemic racism, emotions, and “whiteness” ●      The goal of Beyond Fragility: to teach hard truths and skills that are necessary for a society that isn’t harmful to people of color ●      The DBT skill of effectiveness as a decision-guiding principle ●      A perspective on furthering anti-racism instead of placing blame ●      Barriers to anti-racism work ●      Anti-racism skills covered in the book, like accept, feel, detect, etc. ●      “Fight or flight” responses–and how they show up in anti-racism ●      Anti-racist repair and apologies ●      Skills to use in calling out racist missteps: (CALL) clarify what happened, acknowledge intentions, lay out the reasons, and list possible solutions; (OUT) observing, using humility, and tolerating resistance ●      The DEI calculator–and how to use it to ask for other perspectives ●      An example of anti-racism tools and skills in action with racial marginalization   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie, Dr. Yara, and The DEAR Project: Website, Instagram, and Facebook, LinkedIn   Beyond Fragility: A Skills-Based Guide to Effective Anti-Racist Allyship by Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton, Dr. Yara Mekawi, and Danielle Dawson Also mentioned in this episode: White Fragility by Dr. Robin DiAngelo Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have a child with a disability in the public school system, you are familiar with the language of special education, IEPs, and 504 Plans. If it’s new to you, stick around for today’s conversation because I’m joined by two trusted experts in the thick of the IEP world. We begin with Dr. Lesley Cook, a clinical psychologist and repeat guest on the show, as she explains what parents need to know to be prepared and informed ahead of IEP meetings. My second guest is Kim Kizito, a fierce advocate who meets with families and consults with them as they navigate the public school system to get educational services for their children with various disabilities. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: From Dr. Lesley:  ●      Dr. Lesley’s path to becoming a trusted expert witness in due process cases dealing with neuropsych assessments ●      Understanding IEPs–individual education programs for students who have a diagnosis that interferes with their education ●      The difference between bad goals and good goals in an IEP ●      Dr. Lesley’s advice to watch out for the word “comply” in an IEP goal ●      Turning bad goals into better goals that are affirming and realistic ●      Considerations around behavioral disorders, PTSD, and triggering environments ●      3 kinds of interventions and supports that should be included in IEPs ●      A look at the intense pressure that parents feel in the IEP process–and why the law regards them as equal members in the process ●      Examples of common accommodations that parents can ask for ●      The problem with color charts as a behavior management tool ●      Dr. Lesley’s tips for parents and guardians who want to be more informed and prepared for IEP meetings   From Kim:  ●      Most parents don’t realize what services are available for children ages 0-3 through ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) ●      The importance of a special education advocate in helping families ●      Understanding the difference between a 504 Plan and an IEP ●      The three-pronged process for a child to qualify for an IEP ●      Lightning round questions for Kim about the excuses schools give to parents ●      Kim’s strategy to “get through” to the school to get evaluations and services for a child ●      Top tips for parents in protecting their child’s educational rights ●      A manifestation determination hearing—when it is appropriate and what it means   Resources and Links:  Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok  Mentioned by Dr. Lesley: www.understood.org  Connect with Kim Kizito: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dance is about more than just moving your body. With today’s technology, it’s easy to layer other elements in addition to movement to create a product of expression. Dance is all about expression, it is for everyone, and it shouldn’t be limited to specific people who “fit the mold.” I’m joined today by Heather Stockton, a content creator and dance teacher who I recently discovered on TikTok. We are discussing accessible dance. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      Heather’s background with dance as the “true love” of her life overriding everything as she grew up ●      How Heather discovered in college that dance can be a means of communication, storytelling, and expressiveness ●      How body issues affected Heather’s first experience of dance not being accessible ●      Why Heather’s mission in life is to make dance accessible and inclusive for ALL bodies and break down the stigma that connects it to just one body type ●      Heather’s job today as a dance educator in an elementary school and a dance program developer whose work is based on accessibility and inclusion ●      How Heather teaches through multiple modalities that apply to every gen ed and special ed student in her classes ●      How dance provides multiple benefits for both physical and mental health ●      How dance for adults can heal their inner child, provide community, and allow them to be curious, playful, and expressive ●      Heather leads us through a BrainDance exercise (developed by Anne Green Gilbert) that can be done by people of any age, from very young children to elderly adults Resources and Links: Connect with Heather Stockton: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is no bigger struggle than surviving a post-disaster scenario or perhaps the anxiety we feel about an impending disaster. Joining me today is Zoe Higgins, The Leftist Prepper, from TikTok. You’ll learn what it means to be a prepper, how and why Zoe became a prepper, why the “disaster myth” of movies is not reality, and how to keep your family safe in a disastrous event.    Show Highlights: ●      What it means to be a prepper—and how it started for Zoe in 2017 ●      The difference between doomsday preppers and realistic preppers ●      What leftist prepping is all about ●      Zoe’s Hurricane Ida experience in 2021, and how communities came together ●      What the “disaster myth” is—and why it isn’t true ●      How fundamental Christian narratives play into alt-right prepper views ●      How doomsday preppers incorporate racism, ableism, and fat shaming into their rhetoric ●      Where to start in becoming a prepper ●      What to know about prepping with canned food, freeze-dried food, and stored water ●      Why a hand-crank emergency radio is a necessity ●      How to prep for extreme temperatures in a disaster scenario ●      What to think about in your 72-hour kit beyond food and water: niche gadgets, first aid/medical supplies, maps, chargers, batteries, and printed information ●      What to consider for a go-bag, bug-out bag, etc. ●      Safety issues to think about in a disaster scenario ●      Zoe’s takeaway thoughts about anxiety and prepping   Resources and Links:  Connect with Zoe: TikTok and How People Behave After Disasters information sheet   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are discussing an intriguing topic today: accessible yoga. I want to know more about it, so I’ve invited Emily Anderson to join me. She’s been a yoga teacher since 2018 and is focusing her work this year on yoga therapy, the application of yogic modalities and philosophies in caring for people based on their unique medical and emotional needs and in collaboration with a person’s medical team. Emily does yoga therapy through her virtual studio, All Bodies Welcome Yoga. She firmly believes that anyone can come through her virtual doors and feel comfortable and welcome, which is not always the case in mainstream, fitness-based yoga studios in the US. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      Why it is important to Emily to have equity and inclusion in the yoga classroom ●      Why common conceptions about yoga are a “tricky blur” between self-help, mind/body connection, and spirituality ●      How different yoga positions are beneficial to the body and emotions ●      How people feel health shame and sometimes associate movement with pain, punishment, or discipline ●      How yoga helps reconnect us to the ways our bodies enjoy movement and give us feedback about sensations ●      How Emily works with clients around pushing themselves when things are challenging and empowering themselves with options and autonomy ●      Why much teaching around exercise and movement are fear-based ●      How Emily conducts virtual yoga classes ●      How to look for accessible yoga classes in your community Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Anderson and All Bodies Welcome Yoga: Website, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and The Softness Meditation Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Looking at the diverse aspects of mental health from different angles is part of what this show is about. Today’s episode features Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon, who are clinicians, therapists, Asian Americans, and the co-authors of Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity. Join us to learn more about mental health and the Asian American community!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon met while working in a community health setting mainly with Asian immigrants and refugees in the US ●      Why Asian clients generally experience big stigma and shame around mental health care ●      Why there are common barriers to treatment for Asian Americans, including intergenerational trauma, racial trauma, migration trauma, and invisibility ●      Why therapists have to approach identity issues and family dynamics differently with children of immigrants ●      Soo Jin’s story of the extreme effects of growing up as an undocumented immigrant ●      How Soo Jin’s mother experienced “functional PTSD”---which led to intergenerational trauma in the family ●      How Linda experienced different kinds of intergenerational trauma, mainly due to domestic violence and abuse in her family ●      What is involved in breaking intergenerational family trauma ●      How their book addresses a community perspective on emotions and mental health ●      How practices like yoga and Tai Chi help create a somatic connection between trauma therapy and movement ●      Why everyone, including non-Asians, can benefit from reading their book   Resources and Links:  Connect with Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon: Yellow Chair Collective Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook  **Get the book, Where I Belong  Mentioned in this episode: Teaching the Invisible Race by Tony DelaRosa Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest today is content creator, Frances, from TikTok. She most often covers topics related to Black maternal health and mental health, but today we venture into her personal experience in being a neurodivergent Black woman. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Frances is affected by neurodivergent issues like dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, and stimming (There is much more to neurodivergence beyond ADHD and autism!) ●      How a knowledgeable teacher caught Frances’ problems early in elementary school ●      How differences in cultures play out in the ways neurodivergence might be manifested ●      Why there are many shortfalls in identifying learning disabilities because too many teachers assume the problems are behavioral ●      Why it is difficult as the parent of a neurodivergent child to find balance in privacy, protection, and sharing information with others ●      Frances’ opinions on her childhood accommodations that were most impactful and least impactful for her ●      How Frances functions with accommodations in the workplace as an adult    Resources and Links: Connect with Frances: TikTok  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A big part of the discussion around mental health, wellness, and self-care is not to overlook the factors that may have contributed to some form of religious trauma in your life. If you are someone who has a religious background and might be deconstructing from a religion (Christianity, in particular), today’s conversation will help you navigate that journey. I’m joined by Rev. Lizzie, an Episcopal priest who is based in Austin, Texas, where she is the founding planter of Jubilee Episcopal Church. There is something inspiring and comforting in this conversation for everyone, no matter your relationship with religion. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Shocker: “Cleanliness is next to godliness” is not in the Bible, so you are not morally sinful if your sink is full of dirty dishes. ●      Why Christianity can be comforting to us in our feelings of brokenness and unworthiness ●      Where the phrase about cleanliness and godliness originated–as a way to teach that our “inside” is a more important focus than our outward appearance ●      The danger of misunderstanding “God commands” and “God cares” ●      Why much of what people “think” is Christianity is a misunderstanding of God’s grace and love for our souls ●      Why the vastness of God cannot be contained solely within the bounds of scripture ●      How we each have a “canon within a canon” of the scriptures that we hold the most sacred and important ●      What Rev. Lizzie wants us to understand about the word “jubilee” and what it means about freedom, justice, and joy   Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Lizzie: TikTok, Instagram, and And Also With You Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Resilience. You’ve heard the word, I’m sure, but do you know what it means and how it plays out in real-life situations? Building resilience through pain and difficulties is today’s topic, and Dr. Patrice Berry is here to help us understand. She is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia who enjoys creating educational content on social media to provide additional education and information to people she can’t see in her local office. Join us!  Show Highlights: ●      How Dr. Patrice sees resilience in her work with trauma survivors ●      How Dr. Patrice defines resilience ●      Why resilience can be both an innate ability and a learned skill/tool ●      Why resilience comes from a growth mindset of honoring pain and seeing light through pain ●      What it means to balance pain and trauma ●      How a supportive network helps build resilience by making someone know they are seen, heard, understood, and not alone ●      Dr. Patrice’s take on the oft-used statement: “Children are resilient.” ●      Why children need to experience difficulties, disappointments, mistakes, and pain (not intentionally-caused pain) ●      The role of resilience in being the difference between surviving and thriving ●      How to find joy—even in the midst of surviving ●      How Dr. Patrice teaches the resilience-building skill of “doing the opposite” ●      How to give yourself accommodations ●      The relationship between resilience and persistence   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Patrice Berry: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and (book) Turning Crisis into Clarity: How to Survive or Thrive in the Midst of Uncertainty Book mentioned by Dr. Patrice: Trauma-Proofing Your Kids by Peter Levine Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The thing about boundaries is that they are much more complex than most people assume. The world of boundary-setting is rarely colored with clearly defined black-and-white choices. Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Bethany about her relationship with her father and how she handled boundaries in ways that felt authentic to her. We are discussing how boundaries come into play in the relationships we have and the decision-making process we use. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      A little background on Bethany’s dad, their relationship, and how she grew up not feeling wanted and approved by him ●      How Bethany’s relationship with her dad got worse as she became an adult and encountered her personal addiction issues ●      How Bethany learned hard lessons about communicating with her dad ●      Why Bethany decided to maintain her relationship with her dad—even though he gave her every reason not to ●      How Bethany set hard boundaries by not engaging with him when he was drinking and verbally abusive to her ●      How extra complexities came into their relationship when his health declined and he needed her more and more ●      Why Bethany’s decisions to engage and re-engage were never about believing he would change ●      Why the boundary decisions we make are less about what is right or wrong and more about how we can remain an authentic, whole person ●      How Bethany handled his terminal illness in ways that left her with no regrets   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you at the end of your rope dealing with a dog who always seems to be the problem? I’ve been there, and I can say that there is hope! Today’s episode is a nice wrap-up as the final part of our series on dog training. Jacqui Zakar joins us from her home in Australia for today’s discussion about coping when your dog is “the problem.” Jacqui is a dog trainer I follow on TikTok, and I know she brings a lot of great advice and expertise to this important topic. Join us!   Show Highlights: ●      Why Jacqui understands from personal experience what it’s like to have a reactive dog that’s labeled as “that dog” ●      What Jacqui identifies as the most common misconception around dog training ●      Why Jacqui wants parents to take a closer look at the relationship between their dog and their child ●      Why socialization for your puppy is NOT the only answer to behavior problems ●      Why we sometimes have to adjust our expectations of life with “this dog” because of their individuality ●      Why Jacqui starts her training by assessing how a dog deals with different types of pressure ●      Why training should focus on small steps and ONE thing at a time ●      What to do when you’re at the end of your rope with a problem dog ●      Why the best question to ask when getting a dog is, “Which dog will fit best into my lifestyle?” ●      What KC discovered about her dog through using aversive methods (with a trainer) and teaching boundaries ●      How to use a “welfare lens” in understanding long-term stress vs. a stressful moment in your dog’s training    Resources and Links: Connect with Jacqui Zakar: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are a parent or have spent time with expectant and new parents, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “Breast is best.” The phrase is used to promote breastfeeding as a superior way to feed a baby, and it has terrorized many new parents along the way. My guest is Mallory Whitmore, “The Formula Mom,” who is a passionate advocate for formula-feeding parents. Join us for the discussion!  Show Highlights: ●      How and when “breast is best” originated and became a popular slogan ●      The tragic and manipulative history of formula marketing ●      How “Breast is best” has come to symbolize superior parenting choices and not merely nutrition ●      How breastfeeding is often the first failure in parenthood and one that causes extreme mom guilt ●      Mallory’s take on the question: Is breast best? ●      Why most parenting choices are a cost/benefit decision ●      The truth about the data behind “Breast is Best”---and why the research is skewed ●      KC’s personal experience of struggling to breastfeed and switching to formula ●      Why the fundamental issue here is a woman’s bodily autonomy, something most people support in every other circumstance ●      Why the “lacti-vism” movement is wrong in assigning moral superiority to the act of breastfeeding ●      The realities of life around breastfeeding on the job and a lack of empathy ●      Why Mallory’s mission is to support and empower formula moms to combat the shame—not to convince people not to breastfeed   Resources and Links: Connect with Mallory: Instagram, TikTok, and Milk Drunk Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!   Show Highlights: ●      An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology ●      Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing ●      Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits ●      Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity ●      How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection ●      How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life ●      The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity ●      Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions ●      Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings ●      An example about the inability to express or understand emotions Resources and Links:  Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many people struggle with executive functioning skills, which are the mental skills that we use every day to learn, work, and manage tasks in daily life. My guest is Hannah Choi from Beyond Booksmart. She is an executive function coach who hosts Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast. She has over 20 years of experience working with students of all ages but currently focuses her coaching on college students and adults. Hannah was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and has spent her life trying to figure out systems to make things easier and less awful for those with executive functioning challenges. Join us to learn more from Hannah!   Show Highlights:  ●      An overview of Beyond Booksmart and what they offer through their coaching programs ●      How Hannah explains executive function skills ●      Why executive function skills are greatly impacted by our stress levels ●      How working memory is impaired by executive function challenges ●      The importance of figuring out the WHY of your struggle ●      How Hannah works with someone with time blindness by using a BVA (budgeted vs. actual) tool ●      Why you need to give yourself compassion as you identify your struggle and find workable solutions Resources and Links:   Connect with Hannah Choi and Beyond Booksmart: Website and the Focus Forward Podcast  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s topic is about the religious trauma that many people encounter as they grow up, patriarchy, and the way religion tends to weaponize mental health. I’ve had my various issues with religion, but I want this episode to be helpful to those who consider themselves religious and those who do not. I’m joined by Karla, who is an Interfaith Interspiritual minister who refers to herself as “spiritual, but not religious.” Join us! Show Highlights: ●      How Rev. Karla came into her “deconstructing religion” phase ●      How a journey of religious deconstruction puts a person into a kind of freefall ●      What it means to go into the “spiritual wilderness” ●      Why Rev. Karla calls herself an unchurched, non-conforming Christian ●      Why we should question authority, religion, and the patriarchy ●      How we are intuitively connected to our inner wisdom and what is happening around us ●      Why we need spiritual autonomy ●      Thoughts on the Netflix documentary, Escaping Twin Flames ●      How some religions weaponize any mental health issues as indicators that faith, spiritual grounding, and leadership potential are lacking ●      Why sexual exploitation almost always shows up when patriarchy is in full force ●      The correlation between mental health and religious trauma Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Karla: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Spirituality Matters podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we continue with the topic of responsible dog ownership for those with mental health challenges, I’m joined today by Andrew Gleason of Dog Savvy Training. He’s my personal dog trainer, and I love his approach. Join us to learn more about training and teaching your four-legged “wild child.” Show Highlights: ●      How Andrew came into the work he does today ●      Why most obedience training is a way to control misbehavior—and falls short ●      Why most dog behaviors fall into two categories of suppression or reaction ●      How Andrew breaks down a simple issue like leash-walking ●      How learning for all mammals comes down to constructional model learning and emotional model learning ●      How to support your dog’s learning ●       What “force-free training” entails with a more holistic approach ●      How Andrew attempts to take a healthy approach to limitations, boundaries, and respect ●      How common training techniques don’t communicate learning ●      How Andrew uses aversions and optimism to teach a dog about the freedom of choice ●      An overview of Andrew’s company, Dog SavvyTraining, and their scope of both in-person and virtual training   Resources and Links: Connect with Andrew Gleason and Dog Savvy Training: Website and Facebook Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do dogs have to do with struggle care? If you had lived in my shoes, you would understand. What was I thinking? I decided to celebrate all of my kids finally being in school by getting a puppy! It has been a journey of figuring out why I have a dog when I have ADHD and chronic fatigue–but we love our dog! I reached out to four different trainers to talk about the idea that it’s okay to have pets, even if you have struggles in your life. Let’s take a closer look with Ash, Aaron, Steph, and Joel at dog ownership and dog training in a way that ensures a good and mutually fulfilling partnership between our dogs and ourselves. Join us! Show Highlights:  ●      The fact is that life changes, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to give a dog a good life. The bare minimum is okay until you can do better. ●      An emphasis on owner-focused training gives high-output results with low input; the small things count! ●      An important factor to consider is energy level management because you can’t always rely on being able to manhandle (or pick up) the dog. ●      How to approach dog ownership in regards to breed, size, temperament, habits, and maintenance ●      Why a consistent 60% effort is better than an inconsistent pattern of 100% and nothing ●      Why the same tips don’t work for every person and every dog ●      Why the most important thing is to train your dog on how to handle their energy ●      How we over moralize many aspects of dog ownership, like rescue dogs vs. breeder puppies ●      How to approach physical exercise AND mental exercise with your dog ●      How a dog’s needs can be met in ways that fit in with ANY lifestyle ●      Training priorities for a dog living with an owner with a struggle care background ●      How to know if your dog is happy ●      Enrichment activities for dogs that don’t involve the owner ●      Why dogs are community builders   Resources and Links: Connect with Ash: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with Aaron: TikTok Connect with Steph: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Podcast Connect with Joel: TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We continue our family vlogging conversation today, discussing how often our kids get put out and displayed on the internet and how that affects them. I have Catie Reay joining me to talk about how children get exploited in family vlogging. Catie was raised in a religious cult and had to overcome childhood sexual abuse. Now, she advocates for children online, dedicating her time to helping parents navigate conversations with their children about online safety. Her viewpoint will provide everyone with food for thought. Let’s dive in!  Show Highlights: How putting children online can still have negative consequences, even if there is no abuse  Catie reveals how family vlogging channels fail to protect children from abuse, sexualization, and stalking The controversy surrounding family vloggers who monetize their children's content Why it's exploitative to use children for creating online content as they cannot consent to being broadcast to millions of people How child actors face exploitation in the entertainment industry The importance of considering children's privacy and emotional well-being when creating and consuming parenting content How creating digital scrapbooks for children without proper consent can potentially result in long-term emotional distress   How children get forced to sign NDAs by their parents to prevent them from speaking publicly about their experiences The challenges of balancing the demands of social media and parenthood The importance of parents being proactive in adjusting their children’s digital habits to prevent them from being sexualized online Why parents must protect their children’s digital footprints Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Catie Reay on Instagram and TikTok (@thetiktokadvocate) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have much experience with family vlogs, chances are that today’s topic has crossed your mind. My guest, Cam, is here to share her personal experience growing up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers.” Cam is an international advocate for children of influencers and family vloggers. She takes a stand against child exploitation, going as far as speaking to lawmakers and appearing in documentaries. Her perspective will give us all something to think about. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights: ●      How to understand what family vlogging is ●      Cam’s take on two high-profile cases involving family vlogs that have been in the headlines ●      Cam’s experience as a child when her life was on display through her mom’s blog ●      What happens to a child when a parent overshares about their lives ●      How controversy always causes people to “click”--and more clicks mean more money! ●      The effect of growing up with a lack of privacy that caused embarrassment and vulnerability in Cam ●      Why consent is at the heart of this issue for kids ●      Can family vlogging be done ethically? ●      Why it can be devastating to feel exposed by the people who should protect you the most ●      Cam’s advocacy efforts to keep children from being exploited online   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are an avid Love is Blind watcher, you will definitely relate to this episode. If you haven’t watched the show, we will catch you up on the structure of the show and why it is so fascinating as a study in relationships, both healthy and toxic. Emily and I both made lists of relationship red flags that we noticed in Love is Blind, and we are discussing those and how they relate to real-life relationships. As a disclaimer, I know that reality TV is heavily edited and that everything is contextual. We don’t know these people personally, so please take our opinions with a grain of salt. Join us!   Show Highlights: ●      A look at Izzy and Stacey’s relationship—and the red flags on both sides of this polarizing couple ●      A Red Flag: Teasing and comments about appearance ○      What to watch out for: In early dating relationships, look out for how quick someone is to tease you about your physical appearance. ●      A Red Flag: When someone doesn’t have the emotional skill set to hold space for past trauma, mistakes, and vulnerability ○      What to watch out for: Someone who wants to establish their moral superiority to hold the power in the relationship. ●      A Red Flag: When someone’s enjoyment of me decreases if I’m not sexually attractive to them ○      What to watch out for: Someone who shuts down when you don’t look your best. ●      A Red Flag: Fake intimacy defending itself as “honesty” in disclosing vulnerabilities that are hurtful to their partner ○      What to watch out for: Someone who is emotionally immature about what intimacy and vulnerability mean in a monogamous relationship ●      The nuances of financial stability in a relationship–and who should pay for dates ●      Factors that determine compatibility in a relationship–and why that matters so much   Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Rose: Instagram and Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Thanksgiving is just around the corner, gratitude is an important topic. It is important to offer a more nuanced perspective, because gratitude can be complicated and can look very different for different people. Gratitude goes beyond the simple phrase, “Just be grateful.” In today’s Part 1 of two episodes, we want to give people a brave place to let their true feelings be what they are, regardless of others’ expectations. How do we practice gratitude in a way that isn’t toxic positivity but still validates our feelings and raises our quality of life? My friend, Christine Koh, is here to contribute to the discussion. She is a speaker, creative consultant, author of Minimalist Parenting, and the podcast co-host of Edit Your Life. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      How we define gratitude–it doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone! ●      How gratitude can be an embracing the joy that is random in life–just as suffering is ●      How we define toxic positivity–and how it relates to motherhood ●      Why we, as a society, aren’t very good at sitting with uncomfortable emotions and pain ●      How Christine’s background and Asian heritage inform her view of toxic positivity ●      How spiritual bypassing relates to toxic positivity in not allowing feelings to be processed and explored ●      Why Christine is a fan of cognitive reframing–and how she uses this practical exercise to “flip the script” ●      Why we have to give voice to our suffering to process the feelings and move toward growth ●      How gratitude is an emotional muscle that we have to flex in our own ways ●      Christine’s advice to parents about teaching gratitude while not pushing toxic positivity on our kids ●      Why it is important for parents to model a wide range of emotions in front of our kids   Resources and Links: Connect with Christine Koh: Website, Podcast, and Minimalist Parenting book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are a Southerner, you know we have unique words, phrases, and expressions that are not understood by people who aren’t from around here. My guest today is doing his part to educate the world about all things Southern as the content creator behind his hilarious social media accounts on Instagram and TikTok. Landon Bryant is a Laurel, MS, native whose Southern roots go deep; he is an art educator by profession–and he is learning to navigate life with ADHD. Join us to hear more from Landon!   Show Highlights:  ●      An introduction to the Southern words “piddlin’” and “putterin’”---and what they mean ●      How Landon was diagnosed with ADHD as a college student and finally received helpful accommodations ●      Why Landon feels that being an art teacher is the perfect profession for someone like him ●      Why mental health issues carry a heavy stigma in the South, especially in rural areas where the church is the dominant force in the community ●      Highlights of Landon’s book, Bless Your Heart, “a beautiful guide to life down here” (Set to publish in early 2025) ●      How conversations and comments about ”fixin’ to” were how Landon got started on social media ●      How Landon’s wife, with a special education background, helps him in the writing process ●      How Landon is learning and growing on his writing journey by capitalizing on focused moments of inspiration ●      Accommodations that help him the most: lists, alarms, Google calendar, batching   Resources and Links: Connect with Landon: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!  Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ●      What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness ●      How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism ●      Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive” ●      How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD ●      Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earlier this week, our episode 59, A Grief Observed, featured three people answering the same questions about their personal experience with grief. There was actually a fourth person, Meg Boberg, with very different circumstances, and her story is today’s episode. She shares her experience with “anticipatory grief,” where she grieves a loved one who has not yet passed. Unfortunately, Meg’s mother has now passed on since we recorded this interview. We extend heartfelt condolences to Meg and her family in this loss, and we sincerely thank her for transparently sharing her and her mother’s poignant story with us. Join us for Meg’s grief story.   Show Highlights: ●      What is anticipatory grief? ●      Highlights of Meg’s experience with her mother’s terminal cancer diagnosis since 2019, including writing an article about their shared experience ●      How Meg responds to the questions, “What can I do? How can I help?” ●      What people said or did that was helpful in the face of her mom’s terminal diagnosis ●      What people have said or done that was not helpful ●      How close friends have shown up for Meg during her anticipatory grief ●      Why saying something is better than saying nothing at all ●      Why the only thing that is NEVER helpful is to disappear, disengage, and not make any effort with a grieving person   Resources and Links: Read the article written by Meg and her mother, Linda: Navigating Preparatory & Anticipatory Grief Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is an unusual one as I’m joined by three different guests. We are getting a different perspective on grief as we wade into the messy complexity of interacting with someone deep into grief and being the person in grief who is trying to field all those interactions. These three people have experienced grief in losing someone very close to them. I ask them the same questions about what people said and did that were helpful gestures AND those that were not helpful, along with what they wish people would have done and said. Their varying answers are insightful and revealing, helping us to understand that there is no one right answer to navigating grief. Being human is complex and messy, and there is no better example of that than when grief and loss slam into our lives. Join us to hear the different perspectives on grief from my friends, Shayna, Rachel, and Portia.   *Sensitivity warning: We are talking about death in this episode, so be aware that our specific topics are infant death, spousal death, and the death of a close friend.   Show Highlights: ●      My first guest, Portia Burch: ○      How she lost her close friend, Tish, unexpectedly, around the same time as another meaningful loss in her life ○      The value of those who “bear witness” to our loss ○      How Portia responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○      Why Portia wanted people to let her be, act normal around her, and not expect too much from her ○      Why it’s good to ask someone how they would like for us to proceed as they deal with a loss ○      How we can rephrase our questions into statements and listen to context clues to better follow up with someone during grief ○      Things people say that are not helpful during grief: comments like “this will get easier,” and “she’s in a better place” ○      What it really means to comfort someone ○      What we should talk more about the joy of a person’s life instead the fact that someone is gone ○      Why Portia says, “Grief is what we feel when our love has no place to go.”    ●      My next guest, Rachel: ○      How she lost her husband, Jim, in 2017, just before Father’s Day ○      How Rachel responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○      How Rachel thought of grief and the people in proximity to it as ripples on a pond ○      Ways in which people were actually helpful with tangible support and care ○      Why Rachel vigilantly safeguarded how her husband’s death was explained to her kids ○      Rachel’s take on what to say and do to help someone experiencing acute grief   ●      My next guest, Shayna Raphael: ○      How she lost her daughter, Claire, eight years ago as an infant ○      How Shayna responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○      What people did for Shayna and her family that were helpful actions ○      Things people did or said that were NOT helpful: comments about religion, closure, “a better place,” etc. ○      Why it isn’t helpful when people try to force comfort on a grieving person ○      Why those who show up and “enter into the messiness” are comforting ○      How Shayna found help and support through a Facebook group ○      Why Shayna and her husband founded the Claire Bear Foundation to provide safe sleep spaces to families across the US   Resources and Links: Connect with our guests: The Claire Bear Foundation Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We continue with a Part 2 segment on the topic of hoarding. Many underlying issues play into disorders around hoarding, and they may vary widely from person to person. The good news is that there are multi-faceted resources and professionals available to help and jumpstart the process of change! I’m joined by Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail, a professional organizer, presenter, and hoarding consultant. From her background as an educator, Dr. Leslie obtained her Ph.D. in Community Psychology and formed a new approach to those with organizational challenges, coming from a place of curiosity and a genuine desire to help. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Dr. Leslie became a professional organizer ●      How the hoarding TV shows usually try to present the person’s background and trauma that have led to hoarding tendencies ●      How hoarding was originally classified as a subtype of OCD and not its own disorder ●      Why many hoarders think they need the protection of “stuff” because they have been violated in some way ●      Why simply cleaning out a hoarder’s stuff does NOT fix the problem or help in the long run ●      The best ways to help raise awareness about hoarding disorders ●      The stages of readiness in making changes: awareness (thinking about change), planning action, and taking action ●      How Dr. Leslie uses an icebreaker worksheet to start the conversation about possible hoarding problems ●      Where to begin if you need help with hoarding issues and want to change   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail: Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Mentioned by Dr. Leslie: Helpful resources through the Chicagoland Hoarding Task Force Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hoarding: the word is recognizable, but the truth is that most people don’t understand what hoarding is and how it happens. We are pulling back the curtain on the deeper emotions behind hoarding in today’s episode. I’m joined by “That Hoarder,” the host of the podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding. You will notice that we are not using her name as she wishes to remain anonymous. Anonymity allows her to talk openly and honestly about hoarding and its stigma and shame. Join us to learn more!   Show Highlights:  ●      What hoarding looks like–and why it’s much more than simply having “too much stuff” ●      The transition from being a “messy” person to someone who couldn’t let anything go ●      How That Hoarder realized she had an organization problem ●      Why finding bargains is a problem for That Hoarder ●      Why she started her podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding ●      How she began therapy for PTSD and slowly revealed the hoarding disorder ●      What therapy techniques have helped That Hoarder: doing “experiments,” dealing with overwhelm, and asking why ●      Why curiosity is a valuable tool for That Hoarder ●      Common misconceptions about hoarding disorder ●      That Hoarder’s advice for someone with a friend or family member with hoarding challenges ●      What to consider when children are being raised in a hoarding environment ●      How to gain confidence and exercise your de-hoarding muscle ●      Helpful mantras and motivations that work best for That Hoarder ●      Early warning signs that someone is passing from being messy into hoarding ●      Why hoarding is more than just “keeping too much stuff” and boils down to the struggles of mental anguish, obsessing, and compulsion   Resources and Links: Connect with That Hoarder: Website and Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I stumbled across Emily Haswell on TikTok, and I knew immediately that we would be friends. Listen to hear Emily’s TikTok about wearing the “circus tent with pockets” that led her to say (as a 33-year-old plus-sized woman), “I will NOT be influenced again by what the skinny-girl influencers say we MUST have!” She has started a de-influencing movement that I’m totally here for. Join us to laugh and learn more!   Show Highlights: ●      How Emily got more followers when she started her honest, de-influencing movement ●      Why KC hashired Emily as creative director for the Struggle Care podcast ●      Why KC and Emily decided to cancel on having the well-known, Emmy-nominated Netflix stars, The Minimalists ●      How we critique The Minimalists’ philosophy because it spreads shame and doesn’t hold the value we are looking for (and who really does the dishes in their house anyway?) ●      How we have reacted to influencers with harmful messaging on health, hoarding, domestic tasks, etc.    Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Haswell: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Social anxiety is a common experience for many people. Today’s show is about the tips and tricks we can use to deal with this kind of anxiety when we have to be social and in public. Join us to learn more! I’m joined by Michelle Huillet, an interpersonal communication instructor at Oregon State University in Corvallis, Oregon. In her interpersonal communication course for college freshmen and sophomores, Michelle teaches all about communication in relationships, including listening, nonverbal communication, emotions, and social anxiety.   Show Highlights:  ●      How social anxiety boils down to a fear of judgment ●      How Michelle’s students describe their social anxiety ●      Why many people who struggle with social anxiety look comfortable and confident on the outside ●      Accommodations for social anxiety ●      How nonverbal cues, like eye contact, can allow people with social anxiety to remain engaged and participate ●      Challenges to do with baby steps to become more comfortable with social anxiety by “getting your feet wet” ●      How our imperfections bring connection points–and give a gift to those around us ●      Michelle’s words of wisdom for those who have social anxiety Resources and Links: Mentioned in this episode: The Anxiety Healer's Guide: Coping Strategies and Mindfulness Techniques to Calm the Mind and Body by Alison Seponara Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are exploring the world of parenthood today, but this episode might be helpful even for those who aren’t parents. We are all in some process of trying to reparent ourselves, and it can be healing to hear how people are parenting, how they are failing, and why they want to do better. I’m joined by Yolanda Williams, who has built the Parenting Decolonized brand. She is a single mom, a conscious parenting coach, and a racial justice educator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights:  ●      Why sleep and parenting is a no-win situation for parents: the essence of the co-sleep vs. sleep train debate ●      Why parents have to figure out when their child is dysregulated and what works best for them–even if goes against “the rules” ●      How parents can learn about their triggers and how they project those triggers into the world ●      Why we don’t understand the fears, shame, and motivation that cause other parents to do what they do ●      How Yolanda feels about the parent-coaching industry ●      How Yolanda has built an intentional community in the absence of the ancestral village ●      How capitalism and racism have infiltrated our parenting techniques ●      Why Yolanda is working to form an intentional village community where parents help each other with whatever their “privilege” is ●      How to start decolonizing your parenting ●      What we should teach our kids about violence, restraint, bullying, and self-defense ●      A look at Yolanda’s recent parenting “wins”   Resources and Links: Connect with Yolanda Williams: Website, Parenting Decolonized podcast, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to this bonus episode! For the next few weeks I’ll be putting out some bonus content, and today we will explore coping skills. It’s a phrase that’s become a buzzword in the psychology world right now, along with emotional regulation, feelings, and trauma. Let’s clarify these concepts that may have gotten watered down with a closer look.   Show Highlights: ●      “Emotional regulation” defined and explained: what it is and what it is not ●      The definition, Part 1: “Emotional regulation is the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with a range of emotions and in a manner that is socially tolerable . . .” It is OK to have your feelings! ●      The definition, Part 2: “ . . . and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions, as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed.” Being emotionally regulated doesn’t mean you are a robot! ●      What it means to operate within your “window of tolerance,” the optimal zone of arousal (not in a sexual sense, but nervous system activation) for a person to function in everyday life ●      How your window of tolerance has red zones at the top and bottom of hyper- and hypo-arousal ●      The learning zone vs. the comfort zone ●      How coping skills help us bring ourselves back to the window of tolerance in the comfort zone ●      Why we should morally neutralize ALL coping skills ●      Examples of coping skills that help you stay out of the red zones and regulate well ●      Why self-compassion is THE most important coping skill   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been told to “do a mindfulness practice” only to find that it doesn’t work? Let’s talk about some alternatives to mindfulness that can help with unhelpful thoughts and negative feelings. I’m joined by Dr. Raquel Martin, a psychologist who’s here to discuss this hot topic in the current “therapy talk.” She may sound familiar to you if you’ve listened to my audiobook, How to Keep House While Drowning, as she wrote the section about caring for black hair when you might be struggling.   Show Highlights:  ●      How Dr. Raquel defines mindfulness ●      How mindfulness helps us distance ourselves from unhelpful thoughts and negative feelings ●      Why it’s helpful to think, “This is just a thing” ●      Why mindfulness is not the best fit for everyone ●      How a “stress kit” can be helpful ●      Why deep breathing is not the regulation answer for everyone ●      How alternatives to journaling can be beneficial without “writing” ●      Why therapy and coping skills must be customized to the individual ●      The difference in rules and boundaries ●      How different our world would be if people received mental health support ●      Why compassion and understanding are the keys in understanding a person’s mental health struggles and individualizing their treatment   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Raquel Martin: Website, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Mind Your Mental Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the show that will make you take a closer look at how the work is shared in your household. The problem cannot be solved by simply handing out to-do lists. I’m joined by Eve Rodsky, who is working to change society one partnership at a time by promoting a new 21st-century solution to an age-old problem. Still today, women shoulder two-thirds or more of the unpaid domestic work and child care for their homes and families, and this burden is taking its toll! Again, there are deeper issues to consider. Let’s talk about this topic with Eve! Show Highlights: ●      How Eve came to write her book, Fair Play ●      How many wives/moms have an automatically assigned role in their homes ●      How the shift in marriage occurs where women do most of the “invisible work” ●      How Eve’s book is structured with information and practical ways to divide labor ●      How a story about the Tooth Fairy illustrates the mindset shifts that need to happen in both partners to have fair play ●      Why couples get into a measuring contest about whose job is harder ●      Why we need to break down harmful norms that hurt us all and be clear about each partner’s role ●      Is your home infested by RATs? (randomly assigned tasks) ●      Why accountability and trust are vital in home organization ●      Why the mental load is more taxing in most cases than the actual execution of tasks ●      How to view boundaries with a fresh and freeing perspective and find your “unicorn space” Resources and Links: Connect with Eve Rodsky: Website, Instagram (Fair Play Life), Instagram (Eve), and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We focus a lot on this show about survival skills regarding your life and your home. When we struggle–and our mental health is at stake–we have to let go of lofty ideals and just do the basic tasks we need to survive. Even though interior design is not normally classified as a survival skill, as today’s guest says, “We all deserve beauty.” It’s true. We do. I’m joined by Katie Soro, a vintage dealer and artist who decided to start a new kind of interior design to fuel her passion for vintage and helping people find, curate, see, and experience beauty. Let’s dive deeper into this important topic.   Show Highlights:  ●      Why function AND beauty can coexist—and you deserve them both in your home ●      The first step in decorating your home: Don’t think about what others will say; there is NO wrong way to do it. ●      How a lifeless, inanimate thing can be beautiful and bring creativity to your home ●      How thrifting and antiquing allow you to curate your own style that speaks to you ●      Why beauty in interior design comes from the feelings we get from beautiful things ●      Katie’s practical tips for home design: (Keep in mind that there is NO right way to do it.) ●      Start with a room by considering the mood and function you want in that room. ●      Use lighting to set the mood and be functional for tasks. ●      Use wall art, and remember that it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. ●      Katie’s tips for finding design inspiration: Think outside the box, use Pinterest, don’t be afraid to try and fail more than once, and start thrifting to find unique pieces that speak to you.   Resources and Links: Connect with Katie Saro: Website, Instagram, The Art of Vintage TV Show (Magnolia Network and Discovery+) Mentioned in this episode: www.shopgoodwill.com Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s conversation brings us to the unusual intersection of social media influence, DIY home repair, and trans activism. I’m excited to introduce you to my amazing guest for today’s show! Mercury Stardust, the “Trans Handy Ma’am,” is a professional home maintenance technician, burlesque performer, author, and award-winning activist. Mercury credits her TikTok success to her experience teaching burlesque, where she learned to communicate and create a safe space for students who had frequently experienced trauma. She has been featured in stories by NBC, NPR, Buzzfeed, Newsweek, the Washington Post, and Pink News. Her leadership within the trans community has led to collaborations with such brands as I Fix It, Lowe’s, and the trans healthcare community Point of Pride. Mercury’s recent livestream fundraiser ended up raising over $2.2 million, and she’s embarking on a huge book tour this fall to promote her book, Safe & Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair.   Show Highlights:  ●      How Mercury created a safe space with “Gentle DIY” in the male-dominated handyman world ●      How Mercury became a home maintenance technician to supplement her living as a cabaret performer ●      Why Mercury’s content caters to apartment renters and others who may not be comfortable with tools and DIY repairs ●      Why Mercury shows up authentically without pretense and perfectionism ●      What it’s like to be a prominent trans woman on the internet and still manage her mental health ●      How Mercury handles the task of setting boundaries with people to protect her emotional and mental health ●      Highlights from Mercury’s book, Safe & Sound, and her upcoming 52-city book tour ●      How Mercury leans into her weaknesses and insecurities   Resources and Links: Connect with Mercury Stardust: Website, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, and Safe & Sound book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Honestly, this is a topic for everyone. Today’s show applies to all of us, whether we are parents, future parents, or someone who needs to heal their inner child. I’m excited to be joined by Rachel Nielson, the host and founder of the 3in30 Podcast. She interviewed me on a recent episode, and she’s returning the favor by joining me for this important conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      The structure for Rachel’s 3in30 podcast: 3 actionable takeaways in 30 minutes ●      Why parenting values are far superior to parenting rules ●      Why success in motherhood is most definable by the connection we have with our kids ●      What Rachel teaches in her program, Self-Assured Motherhood ●      Why there is an opportunity to parent your inner child by identifying your core parenting values ●      How you can have different values for different seasons of your life and family ●      How Rachel’s program helps women identify and uncover their values by looking inward and outward ●      Why our values might be in conflict with each other ●      How parenting partners can handle conflict in their individual parenting values ●      Takeaways from Rachel about embracing your values, accepting them, and living into them authentically   Resources and Links: Connect with Rachel Nielson: Website and Podcast Find Rachel’s list of parenting values: www.3in30podcast.com/values Mentioned in this episode: The Family Firm by Emily Oster Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have too much stuff? As you look around your home, is it crowded and cluttered? Does your space make you feel burdened, unhappy, and frustrated? If you said–or shouted–YES, you can’t miss today’s show. Join me to learn more about gentle organizing.  Alison Lush is a Certified Professional Organizer, Certified Virtual Organizer, and Master Trainer. After a 20-year catering career, Alison knew she needed better organization and management skills for her home and personal comfort. She learned to live and shop intentionally, creating and protecting the space in her home. Now she puts her expertise to work in helping others by empowering them and teaching them to put themselves at the center of their organization efforts.  Show Highlights: How Alison became an organizer with a gentle spirit Why our interactions with our home, space, time, and belongings form the foundations of our lives Why Alison’s focus is on “organic organizing” Alison’s answer to a question sent in by Samantha about dealing with clutter, letting things go, and the functionality of her space How to organize your space by using Zone 1, Zone 2, and Zone 3—and consider the frequency of access for each item Ways to keep, honor, and display memorabilia by identifying the risk level in letting items go How to consider the purpose of items in our lives in deciding to keep them or let them go Alison’s answer to a question from Kitty about decorating, a sense of style, and learning to feel good about her space How to reframe what might look crappy and rundown to you as a life well-lived, meaningful, and full of love Why your decor should fuel you and recharge your batteries Alison’s answer to a question from Aria about separating and managing work life and home life How to legitimize, categorize, and systemize your space for the best functionality Why the professional organizing industry has the reputation of telling people to “just get rid of your stuff” Resources: Connect with Alison: www.alisonlush.ca and TikTok    Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss self-compassion. Is it a bad thing to have TOO MUCH self-compassion? Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.  Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m excited to introduce you to today’s guest. Imani Barbarin is a disability rights and inclusion activist and speaker who uses her platform for conversations around the disability community. I’ve followed her for a while on TikTok and appreciate the way she expresses her opinions and helps educate the rest of us. Come join us now! Show Highlights: How Imani explored and discovered her passion for advocacy for disability and inclusion rights How climate change and disability are linked Why environmental ableism is a real thing How people have become victims of their non-nuanced thinking, only wanting to be on the “right” side Why the COVID pandemic has become a “mass-disabling” event, especially regarding mental health Examples of ways in which the environmental movement has left those with disabilities behind Why society has a general disdain for disabled people and believes that they don’t (or won’t) contribute to society How the luxury of abled people trumps the necessity of the disabled What the function of capitalism is on disabled bodies How disabled people are used as pawns in the pro-choice/pro-life debate Why there is inherent racism in the pro-life movement What laziness is and is not Resources: Connect with Imani: Website and Instagram Resources mentioned: https://www.sinsinvalid.org, https://disasterstrategies.org, https://www.americanprogress.org  Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are diving into executive functioning, which is a popular term being bounced around in mental health communities. I want to take a closer look at what it means and how it shows up in people’s lives. Join me to learn more from today’s guest! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Dr. Lesley and I met on TikTok, and I’m happy to have her here today! Show Highlights: A common-language definition and explanation of executive functioning How executive function deficits show up in someone’s life How shame, guilt, and inconsistent performance are clues to executive function problems The difference between motivation and task initiation Why the underlying issue with lack of motivation is more about what a person values How a person’s sense of self is affected when they believe their authentic self is “bad” Why external supports are necessary when an internal system is down Why rhythm is better than routine for those with executive function disorder How neurotypical people experience interruptions with executive functioning on a regular basis because of overload and anxiety How blips in executive function occur in neurotypical people with predictability and response to intervention—as opposed to someone with a diagnosis How someone with ADHD can have incredible deficits in executive function on days when everything is going their way–and won’t respond reliably to normal interventions How to build into each day differing levels of acceptable outcomes–and give yourself permission to choose what fits your needs at that moment Lesley’s advice to those who think they have executive functioning issues Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Find great resources about executive functioning:   www.understood.org, www.psychologytoday.com, and https://chadd.org/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Dear Listeners, "We want to inform you that this episode marks the end of our current season. We would like to take a break during the month of August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. We will be back with fresh episodes in September, filled with engaging discussions and insightful interviews. We appreciate your support and look forward to reconnecting with you soon" -KC Davis Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation. I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Show Highlights: ●      How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people ●      Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews ●      Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors ●      Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged ●      How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language ●      How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time ●      Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe ●      How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool” Resources and Links: Connect with Shahem: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m excited about today’s guest because she has had a huge influence on me. I can confidently say that finding her research on self-compassion was a turning point in my healing journey. Do you need more self-compassion? Join us to learn more! Dr. Kristin Neff is a renowned psychologist, self-care researcher, and author. Her work has had a profound impact on the field of psychology and has helped countless people cultivate self-acceptance and resilience.  Show Highlights: How self-compassion became Dr. Kristin’s main area of research Understanding self-esteem vs. self-compassion The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness How self-esteem creates comparison and social disconnection by being conditional and unstable How self-compassion gives the gift of authenticity The difference between fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion How self-compassion helps us get past our shame Why self-compassion doesn’t mean indulgence Pathways and blocks to self-compassion The connection between self-compassion and psychological functioning How self-compassion helps when we fail and make mistakes Why the goal of practicing self-compassion is to be simply a compassionate mess who is completely human Why the practice of self-compassion has to start small with baby steps of warmth and support (What would you say to a friend?) A look at Dr. Kristin’s latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion How anger fits into self-compassion Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Kristin and find many helpful resources: Website Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m so excited to have my first in-person guest on the podcast! Frankie Simmons is here, and she’s literally sitting right next to me. I love Frankie’s TikTok content, and I resonate with so much of what she says. I feel like she is a younger version of me, as we have similar backgrounds and healing journeys. I hope you will join us for this conversation! Show Highlights: Get to know Frankie and our thoughts on being fellow Texans How Frankie exited her background in Christianity and fear and began to explore the world Why Frankie does TikToks about her functional responses to trauma and finding self-trust The journey from fear and insecurity into feeling worthy and accepted How Frankie experienced a mind-blowing shift in her approach to life Why Frankie has chosen to be sober–and how that has changed her life and relationships Frankie’s journey to understand herself as a confident introvert How we can experience a different version of life when we accept ALL of ourselves What things are like in Frankie’s relationship with love and acceptance How it harms us to be taught that we should feel guilty if life is “easy” and not a constant struggle How Frankie and KC describe their current relationship with Christianity, faith, and spirituality Resources and Links: Connect with Frankie Simmons: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our topic today is intriguing, so I can’t wait to learn more from my guest. I’m joined by River Nice (they/them), who was originally in a tech job they hated. After using their skill set to help their partner with debt from her gender transition, River found their calling: to help queer people with their money. Now, they run their own financial planning firm, Be Intentional Financial LLC (BIF), to serve their clients and community and help to dismantle oppression in all its forms. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Misconceptions people have about the term “anti-capitalist financial planner” A look at the harmful and inaccurate mainstream financial advice in our world Why we live in fear and worry about our financial survival in a capitalist society A look at white privilege and how we can make the world a better place under oppressive systems What “redistribution of wealth” looks like, practically speaking How River helps clients with investing for long-term financial security A charity giving model vs. creating an interdependent community How River teaches financial emergency preparedness to clients How anti-capitalist financial planning is a holistic view of life, money, values, and relationships River’s advice about specific financial scenarios around debt management, living paycheck to paycheck, planning for the future, and accumulating wealth Resources and Links:  Connect with River Nice: Website, Instagram, and TikTok Check out River’s Website for FREE resources and a FREE 30-minute consultation! Also mentioned: the Mint app and the Honeydue app for couples Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Coaching is an interesting field with many nuances, and we hear a LOT of buzz about coaching right now. There are coaches for literally EVERY aspect of life. While there are things to appreciate about the field of coaching, there are definitely things to look out for, as well. I’m joined by my good friend, Heidi Smith, who is a Licensed Professional Counselor.   In Part 2 of this conversation, I’m joined by Rachel Ambrose for a coach’s perspective. Rachel is a coach for neurodivergents who has been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. As someone who holds multiple coaching certifications, she is here to give us a better look at the coaching field. She talks about the bounds of coaching and her personal experience around green and red flags in the industry. Rachel shares tips to help people know how to find a helpful coach and be more knowledgeable about the coaching field.  Show Highlights: How Heidi partners with clients and coaches in her counseling work Why there are legitimate questions about the training and oversight in the coaching field Why coaching is, by definition, a less intimidating relationship than with a therapist but is like “paying for a friend” How coaching and therapy embody very different relationships, lanes, and ethics What to consider in questions about licensure and certifications The ethical rabbit hole around the client’s relationship with therapists and coaches Why the coaching field is like the Wild West right now Pitfalls in the coaching industry around sexual integrity, case management, interventions, and narcissism KC’s experience in researching ADHD coaching  The vagueness around a “spirituality coach” The bottom line about coaching: “Do your research and be aware of potential drawbacks.” Part 2 from Rachel Amrose: Green and red flags around coaching around the following: Power dynamics in the relationship “I have the cure/the magical answer for your problem!” Concrete, actionable items How to know if a coach’s training is worthwhile or not How to gauge a coach’s willingness to refer out–and stay in their lane Resources and Links:  Connect with Rachel Ambrose: Website Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Racism. You may think you know what it is and in what ways it exists in our society, but it is a deep and multi-faceted topic. We could spend hours trolling the depths of language, attitudes, behaviors, and nuances that are influenced by race. We are attempting to explore and learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by Rebecca Slue, also known as the White Woman Whisperer. You may know her from TikTok, which is where I found her. We connected when I took an anti-racism course and reached out to her for help, and I’ve already learned a lot from her. Join us for more from Rebecca’s perspective. Show Highlights: An example of how KC got into a quandary over comments on social media and the fear of being labeled as a racist How amazing conversations are happening when we aren’t concerned about perfectionism in our words What we need to understand about white supremacy How Rebecca uses a caste system model of values to understand the behaviors that perpetuate white supremacy Why our understanding of anti-racism is a journey and not a destination Rebecca’s experience of racial identity as she grew up the child of Jewish and Jamaican parents How Rebecca’s experience played out when she entered corporate America How she became the White Woman Whisperer How racism created a holistic layer of chronic stress for Rebecca How Rebecca uses a metaphor to explain white fragility, white privilege, and the pinata of white supremacy Resources and Links:  Connect with Rebecca: Website and Podcast, Instagram, TikTok  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technology can be challenging for those with ADHD, and I’ll admit that I’ve struggled at times in this area. If you are someone who responds better to tactile and visual learning, you can probably relate. There are many tools and hacks available to help with executive functioning issues, and I’m excited to learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by technology expert Kat Hunt, who is raising a neurodivergent daughter. Let’s learn more about technological aids that can be helpful for ADHD. Join us! Show Highlights: Three specific areas in which neurodivergent struggle and technologies that can help: Time blindness Solutions: Apps like Calendly, Artful Agenda, and Taskly Data loss/overwhelm Solution: Migrating events/tasks into Google Calendar Dopamine-seeking or dopamine-resisting behaviors Solution: Forest app Why mobile access to these tools is preferable over a physical tool, especially for those who travel or move from home to office frequently How Kat uses Alexa technology to her advantage in time management with her family and at her office How the Due app forces you to pay attention to notifications for events and tasks How parents can use Alexa features with neurodivergent kids to increase independence and self-efficacy while still having parental structure in place Resources and Links:  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As you can probably figure out from the title, this is NOT the show to listen to around children! I’m joined by Catie Osborn, better known as @catieosaurus on TikTok–with an average of 30-50 million monthly views. She is an actor, podcaster, sex educator, adult performer, and mental health and disability advocate based in Atlanta. We are diving into the interesting intersection of ADHD and sexuality. If you are curious to hear more, join us! Show Highlights: How growing up in a very conservative and religious household gave Catie an interesting perspective on sex that was based on shame How Catie became interested in kink, received an ADHD diagnosis, and became a sex educator Why sex is a “fragile moment” Why sexual dysfunction and sexual disappointment are NOT the same things How ADHD makes it difficult to stay focused during sex because of overthinking How neurodivergent people struggle to articulate their needs–especially with intimacy Why sex shouldn’t be in terms of obligation, duty, and service but in terms of being authentically ourselves in surrender to the experience How our sex lives are influenced by layers of white supremacy, capitalism, trauma, and heteronormative values that need to be unpacked and investigated What kink is at its core–and why it has saved Catie Why conversations about sex and intimacy connect you to your partner, breed trust and vulnerability, and lead to better sex! Why Catieosaurus’ TikTok series, “Burnt Out Gifted and Talented Submissive Brat with a Praise Kink,” has been hugely popular How kink allowed Catie to be the one who calls the shots and feels safe and supported–for the first time Resources and Links: Connect with Catie: Website, Podcast, Instagram, and TikTok Book mentioned: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-care is a term we hear EVERYWHERE right now, and you’ve heard me talk about it over and over again. Today’s discussion is around the disillusionment of the self-care industry that I’m feeling, along with many others. I’m joined by Taylor Elyse Morrison, the author of Inner Workout: Strengthening Self-Care Practices for Healing Body, Soul, and Mind. Taylor is a founder, facilitator, coach, and serial entrepreneur, and she uses her coaching, mindfulness, and movement training to meet people where they are and offer actionable steps toward avoiding burnout. I’m putting Taylor on the spot by asking questions and picking her brain about common self-care struggles, and she is up for the challenge! Let’s see how this turns out! Show Highlights: How the consumeristic quality of today’s self-care movement ignores the marginalizations and barriers that many people experience that bring distress and hopelessness Why Taylor urges us to ask, “Is it the Self, or is it the System?” Why Taylor created a self-care assessment to give people “practical starting points” How Taylor’s self-care assessment is based on the five yogic dimensions Why self-care is often confused with pleasure as the hard work of self-care is overlooked Why part of self-care is holding onto yourself in the presence of other people Why wisdom is a part of self-care, along with the components of presence, self-trust, and aligned action How curiosity and self-compassion play into effective self-care Why Taylor is satisfied with the feedback she is getting from her book Resources and Links: Connect with Taylor: Website, (Buy her book, take the free self-care assessment, and join her newsletter group.) TikTok, and Instagram. Find Taylor’s book on Amazon: Inner Workout: Strengthening Self-Care Practices for Healing Body, Soul, and Mind.  Find Inner Workout on TikTok and Instagram.  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you afford the services of a professional organizer? Most people can’t, and that’s one of the big problems with the industry. Many professional organizers have come up with alternative ideas that allow them to reach more people with their services. Join us to learn more! I’m happy to welcome back to the show Alison Lush, a Certified Professional Organizer who specializes in chronic disorganization. Alison last joined me for Episode 5 about Gentle Organizing. Today’s discussion is about the problems with professional organizing and how the industry is evolving to be accessible to more people. The good news is that there are different levels of help available more than ever before for organizing and decluttering your spaces! Show Highlights: Why a main problem with the professional organizing industry is that the services are not accessible for most people How the pandemic massively impacted professional organizers in beneficial ways that are far more economical for clients How Alison’s focus has changed to educating and empowering the individual to get unstuck Why there is a spectrum of disorganization in which most people exist somewhere in the middle Highlights of new gap-filling services that some innovative professional organizers are offering (See Resources and Links) Why Accountability Groups and Body Doubling have become the cornerstone of Alison’s work with clients Why the biggest question for professional organizers to ask regarding the client is, “What do they need?” The difference between being unwilling and being overwhelmed in organizing and decluttering Alison’s advice about finding a professional organizer  Resources and Links: Connect with Alison: Website and TikTok JUDITH KOLBERG Conquering Chronic Disorganization book – emotion-based decluttering and organizing strategies https://www.judithkolberg.com/ HAZEL THORNTON Go With the Flow!: The clutter flow chart workbook https://www.org4life.com/ SUSAN GARDNER The Focus Project “If your possessions interfere with your quality of life, The Focus Project is a way to look at them through a different lens.” Frame, Value, Edit. Exercises that promote looking at your belongings from a different angle. Reflection, partnering, creativity are encouraged, along with curiosity about the root causes of clutter. – Self-directed LYNNE POULTON Declutter GO! by Lynne Poulton - Once you start, you’re on a roll. Declutter GO! GAME NIGHTS – Group body doubling – weekly guided activities, prompts – group body doubling or autonomous -  JONDA BEATTIE AND DIANE QUINTANA Release-Repurpose-Reorganize CARDS https://releaserepurpose.com/?fbclid=IwAR3UkkdN6FdroVrQ260VV17XqvA2MnuMl5Hf9DHfzdMD_OaiYLz8tFbyYag - Self-directed – focused areas – systematic VICKIE DELLAQUILA Ophelia the Organizer – Follow her adventures and hear her organizing advice https://www.opheliatheorganizer.com/ JULIET LANDAU-POPE Organizing Bootcamp (5x15 minute sessions over weekdays) https://jlpcoach.com/ Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

**Content Warning: This episode references school shootings and the murder of George Floyd. Stress is a word we throw around regarding many aspects of life, and we all know what it is to feel stress, but how much do we truly understand about it? Stress can take any able-bodied, able-minded person and bring them to a whole new level, whether or not they have a diagnosed condition. As we break down the topic of stress, each person has different responses, personality styles, and primary goals. Join us to find out which stress animal you are!  I’m joined by Dr. Lindsey Cooley, who posted a TikTok about stress, and I knew we had to have this conversation on the podcast. She is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who specializes in school-aged children/teens, emotional and behavioral disorders, LGBTQ youth, ADHD, and autism spectrum disorder.  Show Highlights: Why we should be kind to ourselves–even if we don’t have a diagnosis What is stress? (THE million-dollar question!) The phases of stress (alarm, resistance, and exhaustion) and how prolonged stress can cause diseases of adaptation How our culture normalizes “too much stress” How stressful life events can affect executive functioning, relationships, energy, and more (The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale and Adverse Childhood Experience are well-known measurement tools.) Why we need to legitimize that most of our stress is caused by normal reactions to dysfunctional systems The medical model of disease vs. the social model of disease Common symptoms of being in a prolonged stress cycle Differences in acute stress, chronic stress, and traumatic stress How traumatic stress occurs when we watch something like the murder of George Floyd and school shootings How the “stress animals” (eagle, turtle, chameleon, and lion) concept came from Lynn Lott's Top Card Activity How your personality style and stress response help determine your stress animal How we can learn to care for ourselves in the middle of stress  Resources: Connect with Dr. Lindsey Cooley: TikTok Mentioned in this episode: Lynn Lott's Top Card Activity, the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the ACE Scale, and "Kids Are Suffering from Toxic Stress" LA Times article Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning ​​We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you follow me at all, you know that I really don’t like the word self-care. But today, I’m giving you an entire episode about Real Self Care! My guest today is Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a perinatal psychiatrist, writer, and CEO of Gemma, a women's mental health community, has a fresh perspective on self-care. In her debut nonfiction book, Real Self Care, Dr. Lakshmin challenges the conventional concept of self-care, which is largely full of empty calories and devoid of substance. She argues that the game is rigged, and faux self-care only keeps us looking outward, comparing ourselves with others or striving for a certain type of perfection, which means it's incapable of truly nourishing us in the long run. Her insights on self-care are particularly relevant in the current times, when many people feel overwhelmed, overburdened, and burnt out. Show Highlights: The difference between a “system” and “philosophy”. There is no one right answer, there are hundreds of answers. Hope as a skill, not a new concept. A boundary is the process you went through where you decided that you were worthy of standing up for what you want. You know how to practice real self-care when you suffer from a mental health condition. There is no one answer for recovery from religious trauma. Links and Resources: Connect with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin: Instagram, Twitter Real Self Care, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning ​​We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many adults, like me, are diagnosed with ADHD later in life. It is fascinating to hear the stories of how this diagnosis is missed in their childhood years. I’m joined by Dr. Sasha Hamdani, a board-certified psychiatrist and ADHD clinical specialist who just happens to spend some of her spare time on TikTok. Let’s get the facts from an expert! Join us for this interesting conversation! Show Highlights: The basics: What is ADHD? Why reframing is helpful for adults diagnosed with ADHD Why many of us do self-diagnosis, especially in today’s social media-driven world Factors that can cause a child to fly under the radar and go undiagnosed Why ADHD can be described as “an interest-based nervous system” How most people with ADHD have an “I’m dumb” moment because of how their brains process information and overlook details Why ADHD diagnosis is overlooked in so many people because of the ways they learn to compensate for symptoms Why people with ADHD mask their internal symptoms by learning to respond to their external environment Dr. Sasha’s advice about educating yourself and learning more about ADHD How to decide whether or not to take ADHD medication as an adult Dr. Sasha’s advice about noticing red flags in dealing with your healthcare provider  Resources: Connect with Dr. Sasha: TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Book, Self-Care for People with ADHD, and the Focus Genie App Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you agree that we live in a world that equates body size with a person’s value? What is our society teaching our kids about fat, body size, and a person’s worth? If you experienced body-size shaming as you grew up, don’t you want to do a better job with your children? Parenting around these topics is not easy, and my guest today wrote a book to help us understand more. I’m excited for this conversation with Virginia Sole-Smith, author of Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture and host of the Burnt Toast podcast. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Why parents struggle with fears and concerns around their kids’ body sizes Why the goal is to have kids who don’t feel anxious about their relationship with food Why we need to think about health as MUCH more than a number on the scale Why, to embrace body diversity, we need to challenge what we’ve been trained to think about health, beauty, and morality How weight distribution matches up with “thin privilege” and anti-fat bias How focusing too closely on our personal weight struggles causes us to reinforce and perpetuate fat bias in the world How our children receive messaging around body types and sizes from healthcare providers, sports coaches, etc.  How to have healthy conversations with kids about bodies, fat, diets, etc.  Why parents need to give counter programming to the default settings our kids receive from society about topics such as body shaming and racism Why Virginia included in her book a chapter called “Straight White Dads on Diets”  Resources: Connect with Virginia Sole-Smith: Website, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Burnt Toast podcast, and Fat Talk book Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Getting therapy and finding the right therapist is super intimidating! Most people aren’t even sure how to begin the process. Besides the fear and stigma associated with seeking help for mental health, therapy can be scary when you don’t know what to expect. One of my friends from TikTok has written a book with tons of practical information and advice about the basics of therapy. Join us to learn more! Shani Tran is a licensed therapist in Minnesota and Arizona. She wrote the book, Dope Therapy: A Radical Guide to Owning Your Therapy, to validate the anxiety that can arise around seeking counseling. Through her book, she offers guidance for navigating the uncomfortable conversations that can come up in therapy. In her professional work and on TikTok, Shani focuses on education around cultural humility and helping people of color, who have historically been underserved by the mental health community.  Show Highlights: Why Shani wanted to write her book to make the therapy process less intimidating How Shani’s book breaks down the therapy process, including all the financial information that people need to know Why it is important to be direct in your questions to a therapist How to reframe your thinking around, “Therapy didn’t work for me.” Why it’s OK to tell your therapist how you really feel (they WANT you to advocate for yourself!) Shani’s advice about firing a therapist (Hint: Ghosting them is OK!) Why the therapy room is a great place to practice new communication skills in a safe place Why your relationship with your therapist is different from every other human relationship How teletherapy brings new elements to the therapy process to improve accessibility Why Shani wants to be noticed for her diverse skills as a clinician and not just her work with the BIPOC community The difference in cultural competency and cultural humility  Resources: We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Connect with Shani: Dope Therapy book (also available at other booksellers), TikTok, and Instagram Mentioned by Shani: The Gift of Therapy by Irvin D. Yalom Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Small things can make all the difference, and each person gets to decide for themselves what those little steps are that uplift our spirits and lighten our load. These little things are NOT the same for everyone! A simple thing, like having her hair washed and styled twice weekly, helps energize today’s guest and makes her feel that she can take on the world–and she doesn’t need to make excuses for it. Join us to hear my conversation with Heidi Smith. Show Highlights: How Heidi decided that having someone “do her hair” twice each week is a BIG deal for her mental health Why we have to decide for ourselves how to spend our emotional energy, which is in limited supply Why it is ridiculous that women put so much pressure on themselves to be presentable because of external motivation Why our self-care routines should serve us and have a place in our functionality How parenting responsibilities evolved for Heidi to finally allow her to take time for yourself Why the best advice around self-care tasks is to find what works best for YOU  Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources: Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!) Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve thought about finding a counselor or therapist, you know it can seem overwhelming. Remember that those first few sessions are essentially a time for YOU to interview the therapist to see if there are good vibes and a good fit for you. Don’t be intimidated by the process! I’m breaking it down with tips and advice about finding the right therapist for you. Join me for this episode! Show Highlights: The basics: What is the difference between therapy and counseling? A breakdown of different providers and what they do: psychiatrist, psychologist, therapists, and counselors How to find a provider–with and without insurance (Visit my Shop at www.strugglecare.com to download my FREE pdf file, Finding a Therapist.) How to contact a provider when you’ve chosen one and what to say (Hint: It matters whether your private insurance is a PPO or HMO.) What to ask during the first phone call about scheduling constraints, experience with your specific issue, typical sessions, etc. Why it is OK to go into the first session with questions of your own What you should communicate to the provider during the first session How to ask the provider about their supervision, cancellation policies, emergencies sessions or phone calls How to tell the provider that they aren’t a good fit for you Probing questions you can ask to determine any biases/prejudices your provider might have around religion, spirituality, interventions, faith, LGBTQ people, gender identity, sexuality, psychiatric medications How to figure out the therapist qualities that matter most to you  Safety resources in the US (See Resources below for details.) Resources: If you are in a domestic violence situation and need safety now, call the 24-hour hotline 1-800-799-7233. If you are under 18 and need help, safety, counseling, or services, text “Safe” with your address, city, and state to 44357. The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) is America’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. If you’ve been assaulted and need help, call their hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.   Lifeline Suicide Help can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. They provide 24-hour free and confidential support to people in distress who need crisis resources. The Trevor Project is a chat, text, and phone support line for LGBTQ youth in crisis. They provide peer programs and resources. Reach them at www.thetrevorproject.com.  NEXT Distro is an online and email-based harm reduction service designed to reduce the opioid overdose death rate, prevent injection-related disease transmission, and improve the lives of those who use drugs. Find them at www.nextdistro.org.  Never Use Alone can be reached if you choose to use drugs alone. Their operator will stay on the line with you while you use and notify emergency services if you stop responding. Find them at www.neverusealone.com and 800-484-3731.  Connect with KC:  Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website (Find the FREE pdf, Finding a Good Therapist, under the “Shop” tab.) Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are focusing on one particular aspect of self-care today with therapist and professional organizer Amanda Dodson of Nesting Your Life. I love learning more about how these two roles intersect in helping people with real-life problems. Join us to learn more from Amanda! Show Highlights: Why Amanda became interested in “low-energy care of self” Why it is difficult to accept that you aren’t physically, mentally, and emotionally capable of doing the things you want to do How Amanda explains the “Spoon Theory” of energy An explanation of diminished energy and the blame and frustration that come with it Why resources for self-care should think outside the box regarding the unseen rules we live by Why budgeting your energy differently requires a sort of “mourning” the death of your able-bodied self as life changes occur How societal messages about dealing with low-energy cater to the well people Why neurodivergent people tend to have off-balance eating habits How Amanda helps her clients aim for regular eating routines to be in touch with their hunger and fullness cues Where to start if your home is not functional (Just take the first step!) How sensory issues factor into low-energy self-care—and how to address them  Why motivation pairing can be a real game-changer in making undesirable tasks more tolerable Why Amanda sees it as an important part of her work to help men become more involved in the care of their homes  Resources: Connect with Amanda Dodson: TikTok and Website Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a conversation in which Ellie Pike, host of the Mental Note podcast (this episode first aired on 2/27/23), and I discuss my adult ADHD diagnosis and the workarounds I’ve learned to get things done and function in my life. Join us! Show Highlights: KC’s background as a messy person whose life changed dramatically when her two children were born How KC had to learn how to keep a functional home in a totally new phase of life How an ADHD diagnosis as a young mother made sense of her whole life Why KC’s ADHD diagnosis was “missed” during childhood and youth because she didn’t “fit the mold” Why ADHD is NOT simply the inability to pay attention How success in school changed for KC during college when most of the work was to be done outside of class How ADHD affects what is going on in the brain, regardless of external behavior that may appear normal What KC has put in place to help her finish necessary tasks, even when they don’t interest her The difference between motivation and task initiation–and why we treat them differently How ADHD medication changed everything for KC Why late-diagnosed adults with ADHD usually hit some kind of barrier, event, or transition that brings everything to a crisis point The connection between KC’s depressive episodes and isolation, under-stimulation, and boredom KC’s advice for listeners about creating systems that work WITH your brain: “Do a little, and do it as a person that deserves to function.” Why KC’s message is that “care tasks are morally neutral” and have nothing to do with someone being a worthwhile human being  Resources: Connect with Ellie Pike and find out more about the Eating Recovery Center and Mood and Anxiety Center: www.mentalnotepodcast.com   Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m excited to have Danita Platt on the show today. I didn’t know anyone of color in the field of care tasks until I met her. Her content resonates with me and my views around care tasks, so I hope you’ll enjoy hearing more from Danita! Show Highlights: Who Danita is and how she became an expert on gentle care tasks How our society over the last two generations has moralized care tasks and tied them to the worth of a woman Why we need to rethink our views about care tasks and “being a good woman” that go back to the founding of the US, historically speaking How the concept of “invisible labor” has carried over from colonial days even to today How many white people were able to live the lives they did because of the cheap, exploitable labor of Black women How the Great Migration happened to move many Black families to northern cities from the South How the shift happened to push Black (and white) women to work industrial jobs while men were away during the war How the push is recurring for 1950s homemaking to be viewed as the superior role for women What we DON’T talk about in the fulfilling life of a homemaker How Danita chooses to honor the Black women who had to wash clothes, clean house, and cook meals under duress–with no freedom or choice of their own What Danita would say to women who want to live more joyfully in their homes and experience more freedom and quality of life  Resources: Connect with Danita: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Sisters in Hate: American Women on the Front Lines of White Nationalism Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve never been a perfectionist. I’ve never cared if my bed is made or my handwriting is neat or if a picture on the wall is hanging perfectly. I’m not bothered by things being a little “out of place.” So imagine my surprise to discover that my whole life is run by perfectionism–a different kind of perfectionism. That’s today’s topic on the show. Join me to find out more! Show Highlights: How an 18-month-stint as a teenager in a long-term rehab facility turned me into a moral perfectionist How a militaristic 12-step program and an evangelical church forced me to examine every daily decision for pure, altruistic motives How this type of perfectionism told me that I had to be “good enough” to be loved and accepted How even self-improvement is approached differently with moral perfectionism Why it’s impossible to live with moral perfectionism The first step toward change: recognizing that I am a moral perfectionist who is trying to earn my worth through altruism and unselfishness Why you are not alone if you feel like a moral perfectionist An excerpt from my book, How to Keep House While Drowning, chapter 3  Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s discussion is about high-control groups. If you aren’t familiar with this phrase, think of it as the clinical term for a cult, and most of us are familiar with that word. Let’s talk about it with my guest, Chris Wilson, who has spent many years studying this topic. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology, a Master’s in Religion, and is working on a Master’s in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. Join us to learn more from Chris! Show Highlights: Why a high-control group is usually toxic, with the abuse of power and control that induces trauma in people How Chris witnessed abuse and experienced trauma in her religious upbringing–and became passionately determined to help others KC’s story of teenage drug addiction, rehab, and exposure to high-control groups How a recovery group that helps a person can also be a high-control group What makes a group a high-control group They use control tactics and don’t teach coping mechanisms. They prioritize predatory collectivism. Why not all religions with strict rules and regulations are high-control groups How high-control groups function with behavior control and punishment How high-control group tactics can show up in the toxic workplace How high-control groups implement information control and use thought-stopping cliches to stop people from evaluating what is happening to them How high-control groups remove a person’s ability and opportunity to make all decisions about even the most mundane things in daily life Tips from Chris and KC for joining a group and being aware: Balance your passion with rationality. Connect with others in the group and ask specifically about the “downsides” of the group. Beware if the group touts themselves as the ONLY ONE doing things right. Beware if the group leader claims to be clairvoyant, infallible, or claims to know you better than you know yourself.  Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Games people play: we’ve all been guilty at one time or another, whether intentionally or not. I’m referring to the disingenuous forms of communication we use in daily life. There are various reasons why we alter our communication in certain situations, and it’s usually because we want something from another person. I’m joined by Heidi Smith, LPC, and one of my best friends, who just happens to be my former supervisor when I was learning to be a therapist. Let’s dive deep into games, manipulation, boundaries, and relationships. Join us for the conversation around this fascinating topic! Show Highlights: Is it disingenuous communication, manipulation, or something in-between? Why attention-seeking behavior might really be connection-seeking behavior The “games” people play: The trump card, (the “Ace of Spades”), is the issue, trauma, circumstance, or affliction that someone believes gives them carte blanche to never have to change and to always be accommodated by others. Examples: ADHD, PTSD, a serious illness Some people learn the script to say that excuses them from accountability, like “I’m working on it.” Even with their objectionable behaviors, people deserve and want to be loved and accepted.  Why, in our relationships, we have to be well and not allow others’ behaviors that damage us How different people have different tolerance levels for discomfort in relationships The most powerful, insidious trump card: “If you do/don’t do _______, I will kill myself.”  Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m joined by one of my favorite TikTok creators, Ann Russell. She has 1.9 million followers and is the author of How to Clean Everything: A Practical, Down to Earth Guide for Anyone Who Doesn’t Know Where to Start.  Show Highlights: Why we all deserve to feel safe in our homes and unjudged on standards that we don’t deem important How Ann has come to know how to clean everything Why every cleaning task follows the same process: “Find the solvent that dissolves the stain without damaging the surface.” How Ann creates a safe space for people to ask their cleaning questions without shame Why much of our care/cleaning task knowledge is bound up in the romanticization of our identity How Ann approached housekeeping tasks at home when her four children were young How Ann responds when her career as a professional cleaner is belittled Why basic cleaning tasks shouldn’t cost a lot of money or take a lot of time How consumption and capitalism impact how we feel about our homes Why keeping a perfect home doesn’t protect you from bad things in life or bring success and happiness How “Cleanliness is next to godliness” has been used as a big stick against certain groups of people Why people grow up thinking they are “bad people” when they cannot keep house  How to tackle old crayon marks off walls  Resources: Connect with Ann Russell: TikTok  Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a Q & A. While you listen, I invite you to relax and unwind or use the time to care for yourself gently in whichever way you prefer.  I received questions from a working neurodivergent mom struggling to maintain a functional space, grappling with whether or not she should hire a housekeeper, and from someone living with a messy boyfriend with ADHD, looking for a way to establish a cleaning routine without creating resentment. I share some strategies to help people with ADHD become more functional and explain that struggling to keep your home clean and tidy has nothing to do with your character, work ethic, or who you are as an individual. Let’s get into it!  Show highlights: Is it beneficial or detrimental to hire a housekeeper if you’re working full-time and struggling with ADHD, RSD, anxiety, and major depression? Why paying someone to keep your home clean does not make you a failure. How taking a different perspective can make asking for help much less distressing. How can you establish a cleaning routine without resentment when your partner has ADHD and often forgets his promises to clean up? What happens in the brain when someone has ADHD? What is working memory? Why is it sometimes hard for people with ADHD to complete one-off under-stimulating tasks? How task-bundling and ritualization helped me (someone with ADHD) become more functional. How isolating the bottleneck, or the step in a task they dread most, can help people with ADHD become more functional. Links and resources: Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Get KC’s decluttering workbook when you sign up for her newsletter  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Julie Lause, AKA the Bossy Mom, joins me today! She and I met and became friends on TikTok. Most new parents face the pressure of trying to make sense of things and figuring out how to get everything done. When Julie had her daughter, she was a school principal three years into a school turnaround project. Yet she still managed to keep her home organized by setting up systems. The Bossy House project started because she had friends who were bosses at their jobs, but things at home were a mess. So they needed help.  Julie is a Co-founder and Chief of Schools of a small charter school organization in New Orleans. She does the Bossy House project on the side to help families put systems in place at home. Let’s dive into how she does that! Show highlights: How the Bossy House started. The conflicting feelings Julie had after becoming a mom. How Julie’s daughter’s “table bedroom” came about. How the pandemic inspired many of those who took Julie’s Be the Boss of Your Home course re-imagine their homes in the wackiest of ways! The life-changing benefits of customizing your home in any way you choose! What keeps most people from making creative and functional changes to their houses? What you need to consider when re-imagining your house. How Julie helps moms develop the courage and confidence they need to create a personal area in the home that allows them to feel calm and happy. How Julie deals with people who have anxiety around clutter and clearing up. Why I believe that anxiety disorders are underdiagnosed in women. Links and resources: Connect with Julie: TikTok (@The Bossy House) and website Send in your email to get Julie’s free workshop on setting up and customizing your command center at your house. Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Get KC’s decluttering workbook when you sign up for her newsletter  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Clutter is something we all have to deal with at times. The biggest problem with clutter is not the item itself, but it’s in the emotional attachment we feel. This episode comes in response to a recent question I received: “Do you have any advice for going through boxes of stuff I’m emotionally attached to?” Let’s take a closer look at this important part in your functional space journey. Show Highlights: The only reason to declutter How to identify what you can do with items you don’t plan to keep Why your decluttering goals are important–and may differ from someone else’s The steps to decluttering by categories: Is it broken, expired, incomplete, or unusable? What do I want to keep? When it comes to keeping or getting rid of items, which is more important to me–the freedom of having it gone or the security in knowing it’s there? For sentimental items: Will this person know I’ve gotten rid of this item? If I get rid of this item, will I feel guilty momentarily or for a long time? Is the guilt I feel for getting rid of this item heavier than the weight I feel from having it around? Why you have to honor your emotional context while aiming for functionalism When you might need extra support in decluttering Why it’s better to keep sentimental items out of joy–not guilt Workable solutions for excessive sentimental items What I’ve learned about getting rid of clothes Resources:  Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website (Click the “Hygiene” tab under “Resources” for more information about teeth brushing!) Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dental hygiene is a Struggle Care issue that elicits very strong feelings, as evidenced by the number of responses I receive to any social media post on this topic. Why do so many people feel strongly about brushing their teeth? Let’s talk about it with today’s guest! Taylor McFarland is a pediatric dentist, wife, and mother who creates content on social media about dental care. She and I follow each other on TikTok, and I knew she was the perfect person to help us dive into the problem of why brushing teeth is a big Struggle Care topic for many people.  Show Highlights: How Dr. Taylor, as a pediatric dentist, came to the unique viewpoint of understanding why mental health issues cause people to struggle with teeth brushing Why everyone who experiences this struggle thinks they are THE ONLY ONE Helpful tips on how to find a dentist who will most likely be more understanding Why it helps to be honest about your specific barriers to brushing The purpose behind brushing—and why it’s OK to skip the toothpaste! How to “pick the pain” that will increase your functioning The purpose of toothpaste–(Fluoride is the key!) Why sodium lauryl sulfate is usually the ingredient that bothers most people who have toothpaste sensitivity Dr. Taylor’s tips for people bothered by toothpaste, and toothbrush bristles How apps can make brushing more tolerable, especially with electric toothbrushes Why it sometimes helps to brush your teeth in a different place, like in the shower or the kitchen Why charcoal toothpaste is NOT the best option for daily use Resources: Connect with Dr. Taylor: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website (Click the “Hygiene” tab under “Resources” for more information about teeth brushing!) Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s topic is weaponized incompetence. If you aren’t familiar with the term, stay tuned and learn more with us. I’m thrilled to be joined again by Dr. Lesley Cook, who is a psychologist and good friend. She lives in Virginia and works mostly with neurodivergent kids, adolescents, and adults. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: An explanation of “weaponized incompetence” and what it means How weaponized incompetence applies to the division of household labor  The key to analyzing weaponized incompetence: Why is it happening? Why this is a tricky topic, especially for those who are neurodivergent and feel challenged Why dignity should be preserved in these conversations with a partner Why it’s OK to set boundaries even if someone is unintentionally hurting you Ways to solve problems without shame or blame The difference in functional barriers and weaponized incompetence How to talk through solutions and support for a partner How “maternal gatekeeping” plays into the dynamic Why couples need to have conversations about care tasks, household chores, and childcare BEFORE they have kids Why there is a difference between weaponized incompetence and learned helplessness Dr. Lesley’s tips: “Approach your partner in good faith, open up the conversation, and ask for collaboration in finding something that works better for BOTH partners.” Why the question should be, “Is exploitation happening?” Why you can’t go on appearances regarding a division of labor How to begin the approach with a partner or child: “This isn’t working for me; how can we figure this out together?” Resources: Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Helpful resources mentioned in this episode:  How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn  Fair Play by Eve Rodsky       The Sensory Child Gets Organized by Carolyn Dalgliesh      Ready for Take-Off by Theresa E. Laurie Maitland and Patricia O. Quinn                  A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden, Michelle Frank, and Ellen Littman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is a Q & A, so chill out while you listen, and take the time to do something kind for yourself, whatever that may be. I’ve been asked for advice about habits and discipline for neurodivergent people, which may be difficult for neurotypical people to understand. My message is that you are not broken if you haven’t yet found what works best for your brain. Let’s talk about it. Show Highlights: Why we need to begin with an explanation of the terms neurodivergent and neurotypical Why it is very common for self-help motivation to fall short for neurodivergent people How a neurodivergent person approaches routines and habits in different ways Why I (as an ADHD person) am motivated by pleasure, projects, pressure/panic, patterns Why it’s OK to realize that morning routines don’t work best for you Why there is a difference between routine and rhythm/pattern How I work around my house in patterns–not routines that are time-bound How patterns can help circumvent “executive dysfunction” (Want to know more? Check out Episode 1 with Dr. Lesley Cook at www.strugglecare.com.) What to look out for when your care tasks always require “pushing a boulder up a hill” energy How I can make myself more “disciplined” when I have structure Why you are NOT a self-help reject if you haven’t found what works best for you Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parenting has its moments. Some are good, some are bad, some fill you with heart-melting fuzziness, and some make you ask, “What in the world was I thinking?” We all have visions of our parenting ideal, but real life gives us way too many opportunities to turn into the kind of mom we don’t even recognize. To sum it up, parenting is hard! If you are that parent who needs encouragement today, join us for today’s episode–and I welcome you to join us even if you are not a parent. You might learn something valuable, too! I’m joined by Momma Cusses, aka Gwenna Laithland. She got her start as a writer at the age of 18 and soon branched out into content marketing and has worked with museums, professional sports teams, accounting firms, and universities to help refine their content. She started Momma Cusses in 2020 in hopes of normalizing modern motherhood and giving moms a place to connect and feel less alone. Show Highlights: Gwenna’s story: her history of parenting in reactive mode as a young mom who came out of an abusive relationship–and the realization that hit her about what she was doing to her daughter Why there is not a magic answer or therapy tool for those reactive parenting moments when you lose your mind The difference in responsive vs. reactive parenting Gwenna’s advice about handling endless questions from your kids How our past personal issues determine the behaviors that send us into “Reactive Parent Mode” Why gentle parenting is NOT about how you parent but about how you regulate yourself Why “gentle childing” should NOT be what you want for your child How to do “offline work” with your child when emotions are not elevated How to gain a new perspective on parenting under stress Why there is immense value in a parent who can say, “I’m sorry”  Why we should stop demonizing screen time and teach our 21st-century kids to use devices responsibly Why it’s healthy to realize that you do not have to accept every “invitation” from your child How to find the “middle ground” when you are reparenting yourself while parenting your child Resources: Connect with Momma Cusses: Website, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook (Look for Gwenna’s book coming in Fall, 2023!) Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m joined today by Dr. Lesley Cook as we tackle some listener questions around various topics. Come and join us now! Show Highlights: Tips for someone with no energy due to chronic illness: take care of the basics, conserve your energy, and use whatever hacks work for you Tips for someone who struggles to cook dinner every night: switch things up, identify your mountain, and realize that a bowl of cereal for dinner is OK! Tips for how to study when no one ever taught you: experience the information in different ways, make a memory game, and share the information back and forth with a study partner  How to study when you don’t know what’s important to study How to use accommodations that are available to you How to ask a teacher or professor for study help How to take notes and encode the information in meaningful ways How fidget toys, drawing, and doodling can help you listen and learn Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m excited to introduce you to today’s guest. Imani Barbarin is a disability rights and inclusion activist and speaker who uses her platform for conversations around the disability community. I’ve followed her for a while on TikTok and appreciate the way she expresses her opinions and helps educate the rest of us. Come join us now! Show Highlights: How Imani explored and discovered her passion for advocacy for disability and inclusion rights How climate change and disability are linked Why environmental ableism is a real thing How people have become victims of their non-nuanced thinking, only wanting to be on the “right” side Why the COVID pandemic has become a “mass-disabling” event, especially regarding mental health Examples of ways in which the environmental movement has left those with disabilities behind Why society has a general disdain for disabled people and believes that they don’t (or won’t) contribute to society How the luxury of abled people trumps the necessity of the disabled What the function of capitalism is on disabled bodies How disabled people are used as pawns in the pro-choice/pro-life debate Why there is inherent racism in the pro-life movement What laziness is and is not Resources: Connect with Imani: Website and Instagram Resources mentioned: https://www.sinsinvalid.org, https://disasterstrategies.org, https://www.americanprogress.org  Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have the perfect person to answer a question about “trauma cleaning” as a result of being raised by a parent who was emotionally and verbally abusive about keeping a clean house. This question came from Maria, a TikTok follower, and I’m jumping into this topic in today’s episode with my guest, Amanda Dodson. Join us! Show Highlights: Why this is a common feeling for many people when they sense barriers around care tasks A good first step: Try to separate the behavioral home care task from the interpersonal problem with the parent Why you have to decide how YOU want your home to be for your own comfort and safety–not how your parent would want it to be Why it’s important to have compassion for yourself and awareness of what you need in your space to function well How to identify what you need from your space and use a triage approach to get there How to have your environment and emotions “meet” at a halfway point How to take small steps toward organizing that work for you and your family Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you joined us for Episode 7, you heard the beginning of my series with Kate. If not, you can listen to Part 1 on the Restoring Relationships Podcast. Kate and I met because of our differing viewpoints as we interacted through TikTok videos. We have since taken the time for discussion, proving that disagreements, conflicts, and drama are part of normal life that should be approached with mutual respect and understanding.  I’m continuing the conversation with Kate Leggett, a student in her final semester of graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. Kate uses her TikTok channel to help restore   relationships. Even though our relationship didn’t begin well, we are making strides in communicating with respect and understanding around disagreements and conflicts. The ability to gain a fresh perspective and engage with another person in the face of disagreement is an important topic in today’s world! Listen in and be the “fly on the wall” as we model real-life conflict, relationships, and reconciliation. Join us for a closer look! Show Highlights: Why KC’s initial reaction to Kate was aggravation The idea behind KC’s context: “How people treat you when they are angry is more revealing than how they treat you when they are happy.” The idea behind Kate’s context: “Anger isn’t necessarily the issue, but the lack of repair after the anger is the issue.” What our backgrounds and upbringings teach us about anger, hurt, abuse, relationships, and our worthiness Why it’s different trying to communicate to the masses, like online, rather than on a one-to-one basis in a relationship What Kate wishes she had done differently in her initial exchange with KC Why we should be able to expect creators, especially those with expertise, to be accountable for their words Why it’s tricky to make mental health content on social media Why therapy content can’t replace in-person therapy Thoughts on relationship boundaries, “gray areas,” and why “people are not disposable” The difference in “Setting boundaries” vs. “Being boundaried” Resources: Connect with Kate: Website, TikTok, Podcast Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m offering up an appetizer–because today’s show is a teaser for an upcoming two-part episode. Disagreements, conflicts, and drama are part of normal life, but there CAN be mutual respect and understanding at the same time.  I’m talking with Kate Leggett, a student in her final semester of graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. Kate uses her TikTok channel to help restore relationships, and we became aware of each other because of a video exchange on TikTok. Our relationship certainly didn’t begin well, but we are making strides in communicating with respect and understanding around disagreements and conflicts. Come along as we model real-life conflict, relationships, and reconciliation. Join us for a closer look! Show Highlights: How Kate felt the need to fill in the gray area in relationships around boundaries and toxic relationships How online interactions can be transactional, personal, and very different with someone with whom you have a prior relationship A look at the TikTok videos that started the interaction between Kate and KC–and the thoughts behind the comments How people hold conflict in different and vulnerable ways How KC and Kate made space for deeper conversations around their conflict The difficulties around communication and conflict in the social media space An overview of Kate’s podcast, RR The Podcast, which you can find on YouTube and Spotify (Part 1 of Kate and KC’s conversation is up now!) Kate’s perspective on the much-used phrase, “You teach people how to treat you.” How to listen to the rest of our “respectful drama” Resources: Connect with Kate: Website, TikTok, Podcast Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss self-compassion. Is it a bad thing to have TOO MUCH self-compassion? Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.  Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have too much stuff? As you look around your home, is it crowded and cluttered? Does your space make you feel burdened, unhappy, and frustrated? If you said–or shouted–YES, you can’t miss today’s show. Join me to learn more about gentle organizing.  Alison Lush is a Certified Professional Organizer, Certified Virtual Organizer, and Master Trainer. After a 20-year catering career, Alison knew she needed better organization and management skills for her home and personal comfort. She learned to live and shop intentionally, creating and protecting the space in her home. Now she puts her expertise to work in helping others by empowering them and teaching them to put themselves at the center of their organization efforts.  Show Highlights: How Alison became an organizer with a gentle spirit Why our interactions with our home, space, time, and belongings form the foundations of our lives Why Alison’s focus is on “organic organizing” Alison’s answer to a question sent in by Samantha about dealing with clutter, letting things go, and the functionality of her space How to organize your space by using Zone 1, Zone 2, and Zone 3—and consider the frequency of access for each item Ways to keep, honor, and display memorabilia by identifying the risk level in letting items go How to consider the purpose of items in our lives in deciding to keep them or let them go Alison’s answer to a question from Kitty about decorating, a sense of style, and learning to feel good about her space How to reframe what might look crappy and rundown to you as a life well-lived, meaningful, and full of love Why your decor should fuel you and recharge your batteries Alison’s answer to a question from Aria about separating and managing work life and home life How to legitimize, categorize, and systemize your space for the best functionality Why the professional organizing industry has the reputation of telling people to “just get rid of your stuff” Resources: Connect with Alison: www.alisonlush.ca and TikTok    Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we start with my take on a question that I get asked almost every day about how to keep from losing motivation to complete tasks, especially those simple ones like cleaning a room. If you’ve beaten yourself up over this struggle, then join me for a fresh perspective on cleaning your space!  Show Highlights: Why losing motivation to clean a room comes down to not realizing that tidying, organizing, and cleaning are three different projects What is required to “tidy a room”: a five-step method How organizing differs from tidying and cleaning What the cleaning process entails Why there’s nothing wrong with being a neat or messy person, but a functional level of organization is essential How the tasks of tidying, organizing, and cleaning bring emotional barriers, especially for those with executive function disorders Why we need to remember that these care tasks are morally neutral–and the only reason to do them is so we can function better Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You have probably heard me say, “You can’t save the rainforest if you are depressed.” The truth is that eco-shame and eco-perfectionism can get in the way of our taking steps toward better functioning. If you have ever felt guilty for not being “eco-friendly enough,” this episode is for you!  Rebecca Gray is an environmental epidemiologist. With her master’s degree in public health, she studies disease, the patterns of disease, and health at population levels within communities and countries. She also studies how factors in the environment impact health by causing and promoting disease. Rebecca works with government agencies like the EPA and CDC to develop water guidelines to keep pollutants out of the water supply.  Show Highlights: How Rebecca has experienced forms of eco-shame in her profession How some people push the environmental movement in ways that are able-ist The trap we fall into to “embody the archetype” of the space we occupy How social media plays into the eco-perfectionism pressure we feel Why functionality matters more than the morality of what we do in care tasks, eating, the environment, etc.  Rebecca’s view of today’s environmental movement Why we should ask ourselves how an eco-behavior affects our health and well being What really does need to happen to prevent climate change How our capitalistic society colors what we can do to be eco-friendly How differing narratives make us feel pressured to make individual changes and collective changes to “save the world” How to identify what we need to function well, fill in gaps with eco-friendly behaviors, and learn how to conserve our energy How to take a more reasonable–and less stressful–view of sustainability swaps Actions that have the least impact and the most impact on environmentalism Rebecca’s advice about letting ourselves off the hook for the decisions we make Resources: Connect with Rebecca: LinkedIn  Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another episode of Struggle Care! In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss how to navigate care tasks specifically for ADHD adults and kids. Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.  Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are diving into executive functioning, which is a popular term being bounced around in mental health communities. I want to take a closer look at what it means and how it shows up in people’s lives. Join me to learn more from today’s guest! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Dr. Lesley and I met on TikTok, and I’m happy to have her here today! Show Highlights: A common-language definition and explanation of executive functioning How executive function deficits show up in someone’s life How shame, guilt, and inconsistent performance are clues to executive function problems The difference between motivation and task initiation Why the underlying issue with lack of motivation is more about what a person values How a person’s sense of self is affected when they believe their authentic self is “bad” Why external supports are necessary when an internal system is down Why rhythm is better than routine for those with executive function disorder How neurotypical people experience interruptions with executive functioning on a regular basis because of overload and anxiety How blips in executive function occur in neurotypical people with predictability and response to intervention—as opposed to someone with a diagnosis How someone with ADHD can have incredible deficits in executive function on days when everything is going their way–and won’t respond reliably to normal interventions How to build into each day differing levels of acceptable outcomes–and give yourself permission to choose what fits your needs at that moment Lesley’s advice to those who think they have executive functioning issues Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Find great resources about executive functioning:   www.understood.org, www.psychologytoday.com, and www.chaad.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meet KC Davis! Struggle Care is a podcast about self-care by a host that hates the term self-care. Therapist KC Davis, author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning talks about mental health, care tasks, and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices