34. How to Be Your True Self with Candace Van Dell
34. How to Be Your True Self with Candace Van Dell  
Podcast: The Coachable Podcast
Published On: Wed Jan 26 2022
Description: In today’s episode we are joined by the incredible Candance Van Dell! Candance uses her extraordinary gift of intuition and insight to assist people from all over the world in their own inner healing and awakening to their inner Truth. We cover everything from the lessons we learned from 2021 and the inner child to trauma bonds and relationships. This episode is packed full of amazing advice that you don’t want to miss. Lessons from 2021 [4:30] “I did my deepest shadow work. I worked on the parts of me that I had just put a bandaid over so that I could realign with the heart.” “You can do really hard sh*t and be okay.” “When we’re in avoidance and running from things, it feels so scary. But when we go in and face it, that fear is so much smaller than we think.” “We are so afraid that our original wound is going to be validated by external sources that we don’t realize the external sources are just mirroring what we believe.” “Owning our power and being free isn’t scary. Jump into that fear!” “I’d rather be whole me and alone, than half me.” Belonging [13:00] “The brighter the light, the darker the shadow.” “I don’t care to fit in to society, I care if I fit into my purpose.” “Co-dependency is ‘I can’t be me unless you like me’.” “Get real about how you feel so you can heal.” “We give power and authority to others, but it takes the power away from ourselves.” The Inner Child and Trauma [23:00] “I can still have love, have connection, and still see the truth for what it is.” “It’s not our fault that we’re wounded, but it’s our responsibility to heal.” “I understand that we’re both wounded- hurt people hurt people.” “If we deny the inner child the grieving, we get stuck and never heal. You need to validate your inner child for what you went through.” “If you are dissociating from the truth, how are you going to be truthful in the world?” Trauma Bonds[30:00] “We find ourselves comparing our traumas, and invalidating ourselves.” “When we are in trauma bond, we don’t know what it feels like to love contently or healthily.” “Behavior and boundaries will shift your trauma bond.” “Love yourself back to yourself.” Be the Best Version of YOU![36:00] “Who do I want to be instead of what is life directing me to. Stop the co-dependent pattern of ‘show me who I am’ instead of discovering who you are by following what you feel.” “If you want to know where to do the work in your life, go do your life! The right circumstances will come up.” “All of our judgement is the story and conditioning that’s been programmed into us.” Get in touch with Candance! Connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecoachablepodcast/ Connect with Tori on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachtorigordon/ Guess what?! WE'RE ON YOUTUBE! https://www.youtube.com/c/ToriGordon If you love the show and want to show your support, please leave us a 5 star rating and review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices